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| Pati patni jokes in hindi |
Pati Patni Jokes in Hindi
👉Wife : "Pichle saal mere Birthday pe to Lohe ka palang diya tha, is baar kya de rahe ho?"
Husband : "Is baar soch raha hu usme Current de du."
👉Sher aur saand peene baithe,
2 peg ke Baad sher uth k jaane laga,
Toh saand bola- arre yaar itni jaldi kya hai,
Kuch der aur baitho,
Sher- dekh bhai!! Teri biwi toh Gaye hai,
Lekin mere ghar mein sherni hai.. samjha kar..
👉Wife: (Gusse mein) Aapne bola tha bina reason sharab nahi peoonga..
Husband: Reason hai..
Diwaali aa rahi hai,
rocket chalane ke liye khali bottle chaahiye...
👉Husband and wife was sleeping on bed ...
Husband had a habit to go for running every day early morning.
1 day he got up and came out of house
He felt cold out side and he couldn't jog..
and came back to bed and lay there...
and told her wife that its too cold today...
Wife: "Wo gadha fir bhi bhaagne gaya hai "
👉Wife :- tum bahot badal Gaye ho,
aajkal mujh se theek se baat hi nahi karte ....
Husband :- nahi kaam me busy tha...😞
Wife:- 2-3 din se tum kaam ka bahana bana
rahe ho...tum mujhse kuch chupa rahe ho...
Husband :- nahi thodi tension hai....
Wife :- tum hamesha apni tension mujhse chupate ho...
mujhe batao hum dono mil kar koi solution nikalenge...
tum mujhe kuch to batao problem kya hai....
Husband:- to lo suno ..
TDS file karna hai ...
Income tax file karna hai
NPA ki report deni hai ...
CGTMSE claim lodge krna hai
Printer kaam nahi kar raha hai ...
biometric login kal se nahi ho rahi hai
ATM mein cash atak jata hai hai...
Recovery aa Nahi rahi hai..
Bank main grahak ki bheed hai...
Upper se connectivity ka panga pada hua hai ...
Customer complaint ho rahi hai...
march closing me account pe dhyan du. Ya recovery pe....
Cross selling ho nahi rahi hai
aaj to cash bhi nahi mila hai ..
AB DE MUJHY ISKA
SOLUTION....
Wife :- Tum naa aaj 2 peg maar hi lo...
Happy March Closing
👉Husband: My love tum itni gulabi kyun lag rahi ho.....?
Wife: when your lovely words touch d bundle branches of the circulation system of my heart, it start beating faster resulting pitutary output to increase blood estrogen level, causing vasodilation and i look pink!
Moral: aur dhundo padhi likhi ladki......!
👉Couple silent in bed...
Wife thinks : Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight at the wrong places?
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?
Husband thinks :
Dhoni ne last over Jadeja ko kyu diya.
👉Interview mein candidate se pucha gaya - aapki risk capacity kitni hai?
Jawab - agle Janam mein bhi Same wife chahiye..
Banda select ho gya..
👉WIFE- Kitni baar kaha hai raat ko phone charging par mat lagaya karo, blast ho jayega.
HUSBAND- Koi baat nahi darling maine battery nikal li hai..
👉Aap aur aapki life partner agar sukhi aur swasth rehna chahte to aaj hi istemal kare
KOHINOOR
Basmati rice!
Tasty and healthy.
👉Ek chor ne dupahar ek ghar mein parvesh kiya,
usne aurat ko baand diya aur chaku ki nok par aadmi se gehne aur dhan ko dene ko kaha,
aadmi rone laga aur kaha, "bhai, aap ko jo bhi chahiye le lo,
lekin kripya iski rassi khol do aur use bahar jaane do,
chor: aap vaastav mein apni patni se pyar karte hain.
aadmi: nahi, wo padosi ki patni hai, meri wali aati hi hogi..
👉Aap dono ki jodi kabhi na tute,
Khuda kare aap ek dusre se kabhi na ruthe,
Yuhi ek hokar aap ye zindagi bitayein,
ki Aap dono se khushyion ke ek pal bhi na chhute.
👉Aaj aasman mein kaali ghata shayi hai,
aaj phir gharwali se maar khai hai,
kehti hai gharwali sudar jao par kya kare,
aaj phir kamwali jeans pehan ke aayi hai.
👉पति को बीवी की बनाई पनीर की सब्ज़ी में पनीर ढूंढ़ने से भी नहीं मिल रहा था,
हिम्मत करके पूछा तो बोली,
हिम्मत करके पूछा तो बोली,
"चुपचाप खा लो, *सब्ज़ी का नाम ही 'खोया पनीर' है!*
👉Biwi : Jaanu Batao Tum Mujhe Kitna Pyar Karte Ho.
Pati: Bahut Zyada
Biwi: Phir Bhi Kitna
Pati : Itna Ke Dil Chah Raha Hai ke Tere Jaisi 1 Aur Le Aau.
👉1970 ladies----
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee ji
1980 ladies----
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee
1990 ladies----
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife : Laa rahi hu
2000 ladies----
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Banake pee le
2014 ladies---
Husb: Ek Cup Coffee!
Wife: Kya poochha?
Husb: Maine poochha, ek cup coffee bana du?
👉Evolution of Man :-
shade ke pahle :- Hero no 1,
shade ke baad :- Colie no 1,
shade ke pahle :- Maine pyar kiya,
shade ke baad :- Ye maine kya kiya,
shade ke pahle :- Jaaneman mat jao,
shade ke baad :- Jaan mat khao,
shade ke pahle :- Tum bin raha na jae,
shade ke baad :- Tum ko saha na jae,
shade ke pahle :- Kuch to bolo,
shade ke baad :- Ab chup ho jao,
shade ke pahle :- I Love You,
shade ke baad :- Aaj fir aalu?,
shade ke pahle :- milne kab aaogi,
shade ke baad :- mayke kab jaogi.
👉Patni: kahan chale?
Pati: terrace pe, chidiyo ke liye paani rakhe, kitni garmi hai.
Patni: neeche aa jao sab chidiya maike gayi hui hain.
Pati: terrace pe, chidiyo ke liye paani rakhe, kitni garmi hai.
Patni: neeche aa jao sab chidiya maike gayi hui hain.
👉एक व्यक्ति ने उसे एक अच्छी पत्नी देने के लिए भगवान का शुक्रिया अदा किया।
उसने भगवान से पूछा,
"आपने मेरी पत्नी को इतना प्यार और देखभाल क्यों किया?"
भगवान ने उत्तर दिया: "ताकि तुम उससे प्यार करो"
आदमी ने आगे पूछा:
“तुमने उसे इतना सुंदर और भव्य क्यों बनाया?
भगवान ने उत्तर दिया: "ताकि तुम उससे प्यार करो"
उस आदमी ने फिर पूछा:
"आपने उसे एक अद्भुत रसोइया क्यों बनाया"
भगवान ने उत्तर दिया: "ताकि आप उससे प्यार करें"
उस आदमी ने गुस्से से पूछा:
“लेकिन फिर तुमने उसे ऐसे मूर्ख क्यों बनाया?
भगवान ने कहा: "ताकि वह भी तुमसे प्यार कर सके ...!
सभी पत्नियाँ ROCK ।।
👉Wife :=Window ka lock ni khul rha hai…
Husband := aisa kro thoda oil garam kr ke us pr daal do…
Wife := Kya us se lock khul jaega?
Husband := Try to kro
After 15 mints
Husband calls wife Tum ne try kia?
Wife:= Han kia, par ab to Laptop hi Off ho gaya hai
Husband:= Jahil Aurat Window to batati konsi hai…
Wife:= 8.1 hai..
👉Husband and wife mein kisi baat par jhagra ho gaya,
husband wife se baat nahi kar raha tha.
Wife: Ab main 10 tak ginti ginon gi,
agar tum na bole to main zehar kha loon gi
1.. bolo
Husband khamosh
2.. bolo na plz
Husband khamosh
Wife: Bolo na plz
Wife rona start..
Husband : Ginti gin ginti
Wife: shukar aap bole to.
👉Wife takes serious ill husband to doctor.
Doctor says to wife- Give healthy breakfast, be pleasant, cook tasty dinner and don't discuss your problem with him.
Stop watching tv serials, don't demand new clothes.
If u can do this for one year your husband will be ok.
On way home--
Husband asks wife- What did doctor say?
Wife- Doctor ne toh jawab de diya ji.
👉1 Car ki Nilami ho rahi thi
10 lac
20 lac
30 lac
...1 Aadmi ne Car ki kharab halat par gaur kiya to paas khade Aadmi se pucha:
Is Car mein aisi kon C khoobi hai, ki iske itna daam lag rahe hain?
Aadmi: Ab tak is Car ke 10 hadse hue hain or har haadse mein sirf or sirf "Biwi" ki hi Maut hui hai.
Aadmi: 40 lakh
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