Boss Employee Jokes, Boss and Employee Jokes

Boss employee jokes

Boss Employee Jokes

कर्मचारी: सर मैंने अभी तक अपने पारिश्रमिक खाते को आधार से नहीं जोड़ा है लेकिन मुझे अभी भी गैस सब्सिडी मिली है ...

HR: यह गैस सब्सिडी नहीं है .... यह इस वर्ष आपका वेतन वृद्धि है !!

रुपये 168.50/-

👉Interviewer: There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane.

If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Applicant: That's easy, 49.

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.

Put the elephant in.

Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.

Take the elephant out.

Put the deer in.

Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.

In the end the old lady still died.

Why?

Applicant: Er....I guess she drowned?

Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the aeroplane. 

You may leave now..

👉On a different note:
Whatsapp chatting effect:

Amit ( male secretary): ma'am the project is ready. Meeting at 8am sharp.

Madam: 😒😞😣

Amit: what happened ma'am

Madam: 😏😴

Amit: oh.. feeling sleepy.. I will cancel the meeting ma'am.. We will do it later

Ma'am: 😆👍

Amit: we now have spare time ma'am. . Would u like to rest or should we go out for coffee or something like that

Maam: 😍😘

Amit: oh thank you ma'am. . Where  to go

Maam: 🏩🌅

Amit: oh sunrise hotel ma'am.. done.

Maam: 😘😘😘😍😘😘💏💏💏

Amit: really ma'am r u sure..?

Maam: 😙😊😀😛

Amit: awwwwe..u stole my words...I knew you liked me...muaaah 😍

Maam: 😄😄😜😜

Amit: u naughty..

Maam: 💃💋💋💋💋

Amit: don't worry.. I will take care

Maam: 😍👪

Amit: ohh yes baby 😘😘 

Maam: 😄😀💏🌅🏩🌻🌺🐈

Amit: now I am so excited.. I don't understand anything.. u just come baby..

Maam: hey amit, I am sorry. My 2yr old son is playing with my mobile and I don't know what all emoticons he sent u. Bt what nonsense have you typed..you bastard

Amit: &&&
Moral: believe in words.. not signs

Boss Employee Jokes in Hindi

👉Boss ne sabhi employees k saamne paani mein pathar fenka,

aur pucha k pathar kyun dub gya?

ek hi jawab har baar mila,

Sir pathar bhari hai so dub gya,

Fir boss ne apne priye chamche se pucha,

Usne bahut sundar jawab diya,

Sir mujhe toh sirf ek hi baat samaj mein aayi,

Aapne jisko chod diya wo dub gya,

Aise hi haramkhor naukri mein tarakki karte hain..

👉HR से उत्तर- जानकारी के लिए धन्यवाद।

हम जांच के लिए आपकी जगह डॉक्टरों की टीम भेज रहे हैं।

यदि कोरोना वायरस का पता चला, तो आपको भुगतान छुट्टी के साथ अपने घर पर 14 दिनों के लिए अलग किया जाएगा।

यदि नहीं पता चला तो डॉक्टरों की यात्रा की व्यवस्था करने के सभी शुल्क आपके अगले महीने के वेतन से काट लिए जाएंगे।

डॉक्टर्स विजिट की व्यवस्था के लिए कृपया अपना पता हमें मेल करें।

कर्मचारी ने तुरंत कार्यालय को सूचना दी।

आखिर बॉस ही बॉस होता है।

👉Ek private sector karamchari k ghar aakar,

ghanti baja kar ek vyakti ne pucha?

Sir yahin rehte hain kya?

employee ki patni ne bada hi marmik jawab diya..

Rehte toh office mein hai,

lekin address proof k liye yeh ghar liya hai..

👉Employee to Boss : Sir Chhutti chahiye

Boss : ek shart par milegi, ye batao, Katappa ne Bahubali ko kyon mara?

Employee: Sir, Katappa ko Chhutti nahi di hogi...

(presently the employee is on 60 days of Annual Paid Leave)

👉A very emotional quote !!

Attachment is not when two people chat day & night ...

Attachment is not when two people can't live without each other ...

Attachment is not when two people can't stay away from each other for a moment ...

But when the HR sends an email to you with subject as 'Increment letter' and the attached file is missing ...

That's when you realize the true meaning of Attachment ... !!

Boss Employee Quotes

👉Employee : Sir meri Patni mere saath baahar ghumne jaana chaahti hai.. chhutti chahiye..

Boss : chhutti nahin milegi........

Employee : Thanks a lot Sir ji..

main jaanta tha, 

musibat ke waqt aap hi kaam aayenge...

👉Boss-Tumhari ability?

Lady Secretary-

Youthful hu,

Vibrant hu,

Sincere hu,

Truthful hu,

Industrious hu,

Certified hu,

Knowledgeable hu,

Worthwhile hu,

Writing janti hu,

Data file sahi rakhti hu,

Computer mein professional hu,

Thoda balances bhi janti hu,

Boss: aur kuch

Lady: Disease free aur healthy hu,

Real estate agent T lagayi hai,

7 position aati hai,

69 mein Expert hu,

aur

Sabse Jaruri Baat okay

Apne flat mein akeli rehti hu...!

Boss: bas kar pagli,

abs kya joining ke Din promotion legi!!!!

👉All of you who have seen the movie "A Wednesday".. 

will love these rephrased Naseerudin Shah Dialogue’s...

Manager:- Kaun ho tum..??? Kya pehchan hai tumhari ?

Unknown Employee: Kaun hoon main..!!! 

Mein woh hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai, 

Main woh hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta hai, Yeh soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchaan ne se inkar na kar de...

Main woh hoon jo, Aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se naa nikal de..

Main woh hoon jiski biwi use roz 10 bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "

Mera haal poochhne ke liye ya kaam poochhne ke liye nahi,.. Balki woh yeh jaananaa chahti hai ki... Mein field mein kaam kar raha hun ya pressure mein aakar kahin baithkar daru pee rahahun...

Main woh hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. woh bhi time mil jaye to...

Main woh hoon jo aksar phasta hain.. Kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mein phasta hai , Kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mein phasta hai, kabhi boss ke bawaal mein fasta hai.

Walk-In interview ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne... Uss bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. Main woh hoon..

I'm the….. JUST A STUPID EMPLOYEE.

Boss Employee Quotes in Hindi

👉2 men in a wedding function:

1st: " Lo..!! kuch din pehle hi godi mein kheli thi or aaj iski shaadi hai

2nd:" Aap dulhan ke baap ho..??

1st:" Nahi, dulhan ka BOSS...

👉When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs, and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. 

So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. 

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. 

All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story: You don'tneed brains to be a boss - any asshole will do.