School and Exam Jokes, Shayari in Hindi and English

School and Exam Jokes

School Jokes in Hindi

kudi dil di saaf honi chahidi aa ..
lovely ta university v aa

kudi healthy honi chahidi aa ..
patla ta nokia vala charger v hunda

bande kol manja hona chahida ..
pawa ta jassi jasraj v chukki firda

bande kol kameez honi chahidi ..
banyan ta honey singh v payi firda

Girlfriend passionate honi chahiye...
Caring toh nurse b hoti hai! .

Ladki andar se achi honi chahiye.....
bahari nikhar to fair n lovely bhi deti hai

Wife ek best frnd jaisi honi chahiye...
life companion toh s4 bhi hota hain

Ladka sensitive hona chahiye
emotions toh whats app main bhi hai

Ladki Mein Attitude hona chaiye..
Angry Toh Aaj kal birds bhi hote hai

Air condition cooling dena chahiye.......
hava tho lays ke packet mein bhi hoti hai

Cable ho toh tata sky jaisa
Dish toh har ghar k kitchen mein hote he

Aadmi ko limit mein rehna chahiye....
unlimited toh mera data plan bhi hai

Cement to pure honi chahiye
strong to apni dosti bhi hai .

Zindagi suljhi hui honi chahiye..
Uljhe hue toh baal bhi hai !! . .

Ladki sweeet honi chaiye
tikhi toh ramdev ki mirchi bhi hoti hain

Ladka smart hona chahiye,
ameer to Mukesh Ambani ka beta bhi hai

Ladki mein sense of humor hona chahiye
SUSHIL toh SHINDE bhi hai

Ladki asli mein ladki honi chahiye,
Mahela toh jaywardane bhi hai

Baal Strong hone chahiye,
Shiny toh Ahuja bhi hai

Ladkiya hamesha khush honi chahiye
kyuki rotlu toh shreeshanth bhi hai

Bachha ek hi paida hona chaiye...
twins toh tower bhi hai

Exams mein fail hona chaiye..
pass to train ka bhi hai

Insaan mein atam sanman hona chahie,
jaan to aaj kal cement mein bhi hai.

👉Dollar has increased to Rs. 60 

Milk has increased to Rs.40/Liter 

Petrol has increased to Rs. 72/Liter.

Thank God, Passing Marks are still 40.

School Comedy Jokes in Hindi

👉Aaj mujhe raste mein jinn mila
Jinn: Kya hukum mere aaka...???
Man : Meri taraf se Engineering exams tum de do..
Jinn: Aaka...! Hukum karo, bakchodi nahi..

👉Mil gya kamina
"HENRY MISHEL-AMERICAN"
was the fist person who started the "EXAMS"
Forward to all students..
kaminey ne zindagi ka maza kharab kar diya...

👉Peene se ud jata hai fear...
wah wah
peene se ud jata hai fear..
Xternal says-
see dear...
Your simple concepts are certainly not clear 
please attempt next year..

👉Teacher: what's the capital of South Africa

Student : Cape Town.

Teacher: Very good, now what's the capital of India?

Student : Rape Town..

👉EXAM mein fail hone ki wajah kya hai ?

1 saal ke 365 din hote hain.

Roz 8 ghante sone ke Yani pure saal ke 122 din

365-122=243

aur summer vacation gino 61 din.

243-61=182 din

Usme 52 sunday.

182-52=130 din.

Diwali ; holi etc...Festival ke 40.

Collage festival 15 din [40+15=55]

130-55=75 din.

Khane pine nahane ke 3 ghante ke hisab se 46 din.

75-46=29 din.

Roj ke 1 ghante dosto ke. Uske 15 din.

29-15=14 din.

Ab hum 10 din to bimar bhi rahte hain.

14-10=4 din bache.

T.V dekhne ke 3 din.

4-3=1 din bacha Yaar

1 saal mein 1 din hi to birthday aata hai.

Ab birthday ke din kon padhe hai yaar.

👉Exam Ki Raat Student ne Toss Kiya,

Head aaya toh sona hai.

Tail aaya toh film dekhna hai,

khada raha toh gane sununga,

agar hawa mein raha toh maa kasam raat bhar padhunga..

👉In exam a question came..
A parrot sits on an elephant and therefore the elephant died..
Prove it.
Student answer:"
assume that elephant name was parrot and therefore the parrot name was elephant..

👉Height of attempting unknown qns in an exam...

Question: What is an Array..?

Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend.

Eg.

"ARRAY Kanjar idhar aa..."

Exam Jokes in Hindi

👉1.Do you feel lazy to get up early in the morning?

2.Does a book work as a sleeping pill?

3.Attend classes only for attendance? ...

4. see the calendar for holidays?

5.cell in place of a pen?

If all above is happening with u congratulations! 

U r a perfect student.

So Dont Worry, Be Happy

Just chant the Mantra:- "Kal Se Pakka Padhunga.

👉Kaal Raat Book Meri Taraf Dekhti Rahi,

Aur Facebook Mujhe Apni Taraf Khichta Raha,

Facebook Ka Jhoka Mera Man Moh Gaya,

Aur Kaal Raat Fir Ek Honhar Student,

Bina Padhe Facebook Mein Kho Gaya...

👉Sachin Tendulkar- 10th pass..!!

Anil ambani- twelfth pass..!!

Einstein-"failed 12 tym in a class..!!

Edission-"i never

concerned for exam, coz 1 bed sheet never

decide my future..!!

Harbhajan singh- 8th

move..!!

M. s dhoni-"failed 2 tyms in b. com"..!!

BAS YAHI KUCH LOG HAIN JO MUJHE PADHNE SE ROKTE HAiN VARNA MAIN BHI TOP KARTA..!!

👉After a girl gets 89 marks she response, "kamina 1 mark aur de deta to uska kya jata tha" 

But if a boy gets 33 he says, "bhai check karne wala toh bhagwan tha bhagwan."

👉Kisi ne koi bhi exam clear karana ho toh mujhe Rs. 5000 k saath apna roll number send kar do . .

"Main Ardaas karanga.!

👉Wats d height of hope??

It is: sitting in d exam hall,

holdin d question paper in hand

and tellin ur self

"dude,dnt worry.

DSC Exams will get postponed!"

👉Exam pattern:

1995:Answer All Questions.

2000:Ansr any 5-Ques

2010:answer Either A (or) B

2015:Atlest Read D Questions

2020:Thank for coming

👉Exam time special:

usko pane ke liye main bhagvan se bhi ladh jata

Par baad mein socha exams paas aa rahe hain to bhagvan se panga thik nahi.

Exam Funny Jokes in Hindi and English

👉Aisa nahi hai ke jindagi buri hai,

Par college life ki abat hi kuch aur thi...

Aisa nahi hai ke ab hansi nahi aati,

Par dosto ke sath baith k khilkhilane ki baat hi

kuch aur thi..

.

Aisa nahi hai ke ab tension se raat na gujarti ho,

Par exams ki raato mein jagne wali baat hi kuch aur thi..

Aisa nahi hai k aage aakar kuch hasil na kiya ho,

Par passing marks lakar party udane wali baat hi

kuch aur thi..

.

Aisa nahi hai k jindagi ab kat na rahi ho,

Par dosto ke sath bitaye gaye lamho ki baat hi kuch aur thi.

👉Boy in computer exam;

Examiner: What is Microsoft Excel ??

Boy: It is a new branch of Surf Excel to clean the computer.

👉FIRE ko AAG kehte hain,

COBRA ko NAAG kahte hain,

GARDEN ko BAAG kahte hain,

Aur "EXAMS" ke samay jo kaam na kare,

Use ''DIMAG'' kahte Hain!

👉Education is a process of wasting 1/4th of our life to learn how to waste the remaining 3/4th of our life!

👉Bachpan ki vo amiri na jaane kahan kho gayi,

jab barish ke paani mein hamare bhi jahaaj taira karte the..

👉Dur

se

dekha

to

books

thi

to pass jane ka to sawaal hi paida nahi hota hai..

👉Psychology ka practical ho raha tha.

Professor ne 1 Chuhe Ke Liye 

ek taraf cake Aur dosri taraf chuhia rakh di,

Chuha Foran Cake Ki taraf lapka.

Dusri Baar Cake ko badal kar Roti Rakhi,

Chuha Roti Ki Taraf Lapka.

Is tarah kai baar Food Item Badle, 

Magar Chuha har baar Food ki taraf bhaga.

Prof:bus saabit ho gya ke bhukh hi sub se badi taqat hai..

Itne mein last row se ek aawaz aai:'sir ji ek baar chuhiya bhi badal ke dekh lo.. 

BACK BENCHERS ROCK..

👉Cyber Cafe mein jaake SSC ka form bhara,

fir SBI mein fees submit karke Part 2 ko bhi pura kara,

fir 2 months k baad roll number aaya,

written exam mein paas hone ke liye pura zor lagaya,

par jab result aaya toh sab ka call letter aaya,

hey prabhu sab ka number aaya par mera kyun na aaya..

👉Beta twelfth karle fir aish karna.

Beta graduating.

Beta PG karle.

Beta MBA.

Beta Naukri.

Beta Shaadi.

Beta mar jaa phir to aish hi aish hai.

👉Science say that by boiling the water germs are dead.

But Science didn't know that the dead bodies of germs are already in water. 

Stupid science..

By God, i am genius from my childhood but i never pride myself.

👉Class Room Is Like A Train

1st Two Benches R Reserved For VIP..

Nxt Two Benches R for General Coach

Then

Last Two Benches R Very Demanded.

Bcz Its."SLEEPER COACH"

👉Sun Rises in the East And Sets in West.

Fact: "Sun neither rises Nor sets its only Earth which rotates"

MORAL: EDUCATION spoils our common sense nothing else.

👉Newton's 17th law:

In bed, its 6:00 am, if u close your eyes for 5 mins, its direct 7:45,

but

in lecture its 12:30, you close your eyes for 5 mins, itz still 12:31.

👉Smoking effects LIPS

Drinking effects WORKING LIVER

Love effects HEART

But

The most danger one is STUDY.

It effects the mind,

Direct komma

Avoid it & Get pleasure from.

👉What is the true meaning of study? 

S- Sleeping. 

T- Talking. 

U- Unlimited sms. 

D- Dreaming. 

Y- Yaani mast life 

so carry on study!