Teacher Student Jokes in Hindi and English

Teacher student jokes

Teacher Student Jokes in English

We Indian student are always the best..

Look how we study
1) B4 paper unnecessary sms to frndz.

2) Plan each day to study but end of d day:
Kal se pakka

3) We waste all our tym in counting chapterz instead of
doing them.

4) We want break after every 2 pages

5) Unnecessarily we start feeling hungry

6) We even start liking doordarshan

7) About every hard topic we think:
lagta nahi ke ye aayega.

8 ) B4 starting study, msg frndz: Kitna padha? mein kya padhu?

9) Right now u r thinking of forwarding this msg to ur frndz.

10) On each point u smiled, n thought: Hum par to bilkul suit krta hai.

👉We go to school, to attend "CLASS" .
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.
At home, we have to "STUDY".
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, Tv, Unlimited-sms, Dota, Youtube.
in class, we're given "HOMEWORK."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K ­ = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.
while doing homework, we refer to "TEXTBOOK".
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK...

👉"STUDENT OF THE YEAR"
Dear movie,
i did't have a Ferrari or Mercedes in my school days,
neither my school have acres of lands of campus...nd yeah a cool Disco too... And girls roaming around in
bikni...??
Hell no....!!
still my school days were awesome as hell... ♥ :) :)
so,
Mr. karan johar stop making such unrealistic movies as it can leave a wrong impression on the youth, making them to compare it
with their school days nd feel sick.

👉Difference Between School & College:
In School If You Were Late,
You Had To Sit On Back Bench..
But In College If You Were Late,
You Had To Sit On First Bench..
Agree ?

Teacher Student Jokes in Hindi

👉(Kavi ka beta School Mein)
Teacher :- what is Noun?
Student :- Arz karta hoon,
Kutta bhi hota Hai apni gali mein king,
Wah wah...
Kutta Bhi Hota hai Apni gali mein King.
Noun is a Name Of any person place or thing.
wah wah..

👉God: "beta, koi mannat maango..??"
Student: "Plz Mujhe Meri School Life Lauta Do...
God: "Beta, Maine Tumhe mannat Mangne Ko kaha hai "JANNAT" Nahi.. "
school days are awesome so enjoy it...

👉Teacher at class: suno bachcho kal tum logo ka group photo shoot hoga,, .
Sab log apne apne ghar se Rs. 50/-le kr aana,,
Pappu: "saala ye sab teacher logo ki mili bhagat hoti hai,,
Ek photo ke 20/- rupye lagte hai aur hum logo se 50_50 rupye liye ja rahe hain..
Matlab ek bachche se 30/- Rupye bachayenge matlab akele apni class me 60 bachche hai to 60*30=1800 Rs. .
khuli Loot macha rakhi hai in logo ne,,
Fir hamare paiso se ye sab staff room mein baith k samosa khayenge aur hum
bachchon ko milega Ghanta,,.
Chal bhai tappu ghar chalte hai kal mummy se Rs. 50/- le k aana,,
Bhalai ka to zamaa nahi reh gaya,,
Pappu to mom: "Mummy kal school mein group photo shoot hona hai teacher ne Rs. 100/- rupaye mangaye hain.

👉Ek Ameer Ladki ko School mein “Gareeb Parivar” pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha Gaya..
Essay me usne Likha:
Ek Gareeb Parivar tha,
Pita Gareeb, Maa Gareeb, Bachche Gareeb.
Parivar mein 4 Naukar the, wo bhi Gareeb..
Car bhi Tooti hui SAFARI thi..
Unka Gareeb Driver Bachon ko Tooti Car mein School Chhod Ke Aata tha..
Bachon K paas Purane Samsung S3 Mobile the..
Bache Hafte mein 4 bar hi Chicken Khate the..
Ghar mein 4 hi 2nd Hand A.C. the..
Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se Aish Kar raha tha….!!

Very Funny Teacher Student Jokes

👉Throughout School days,
Mummy jo bhi tiffin-box mein dete the,
wo accha nahi lagta tha,
but friend ke tiffin mein uski mom jo dete the,
wo bahut pasand aata tha...
Childhood memories.

👉A tribute to school life:
"Ek muddat ke baad milne wali thi kaid se Azaadi,
Par kismat to dekho,
Jab Azaadi mili to pinjre se pyaar ho chuka tha,
Ek comment School Life Ke Naam..

👉Moment Which Almost Came In Everyone's School Life !
When A Teacher Points At You And U Look Behind !
And Then Say : "Who? Me?"

👉Child FAILS IN EXAM-
Father: Aaj se mujhe daddy mat kehna...
Kid: Oh, go ahead father,
it was simply a school test not the DNA test...!
Shaking Generations..

👉Aajkal ke bache toh sadak par bhi chalte hain,
Airfone laga lete hain,
aur ek main tha jo school se pathar ko thokar maarte maarte ghar tak le jaata tha..

👉1000 Pages Ki Book Kitne Din Mein Parhi Ja Sakti Hai?
Writer: 6 Months
Doctor: 2 Months
Lawyer: 1 Month
Prof: 1 Week
Student: Pehle Ye Batao Paper Kab Hai?

👉7 Things Girls Do In an Exam Hall:
1. Write
2. Tuck Hair Behind Ears
3. Again Write
4. Change d Empty Refill
5. Again Write
6. Ask for Extra Sheet
7. Again Keep Writing

7 Things Boys do in an Exam Hall:
1. Count d No of Girls
2. Check Out the Young Lady Supervisor
3. Counting how many windows and doors..
4. Revising the Location of Chits in d Pockets
5. Seeing the Brand Name of the Pen
6. Regretting Wasting the Last Night Studying
7. Think 2 study well at least 4 next exam.
& After Exams…

👉Girls: you Know Paper Bahut Kharab Gaaya, it was so Lengthy I Could’nt Draw a Diagram… I am Going to Fail (Means 80+ Marks)
Boys: Fun Hai Yaar, Saala Ek Raat Padh Ke Paas… Chal Canteen ja ke samose Khate hain.

Teacher Student Comedy Jokes in Hindi

👉New Teacher: OK, All Students tell your name & hobbies.

Boys: I'm Mike, my hobby is watching bubble in bath tub.

I'm Ajay, my hobby is watching Bubble in bath tub.

I'm Zohaib, my hobby is watching bubble in bath tub.

Teacher: Oh all boys have same hobbies. Ok, Now girls.

Girl: Hi my name is Bubble.

👉Teacher: Internet pe jo ashlilta faili hui hai,
Aap use kis tarah se dekhte hain..?
Student: Ji full HD mein..

👉TEACHER- Bina ruke batao Bharat ke rashtarpati kaun hai?

Kutub Minar kaha hai?

Shatabadi ki raftar?

Murgi kya deti hai?

STUDENT- Pratibha Patil Delhi mein 140 km/h ki raftar se ande deti hai.

👉Class mein teacher ne ek ladki se pucha.

what is nitrate ??

Ladki hass ke boli- Sir, Rs 1500/-.

👉Teacher-Love kyon acha hai waar se?

Student-Kyoki CONDOM saste milte hain TALWAAR se.

👉Teacher-Itne din se kaha the?

Student- Birdflu tha.

Teacher-Par ye to Birds mein hota hai.

Student- saale tune Insaan samjha hi kaha, 

roz to Murga bana deta hai.

👉Teacher:

what is the difference between orange & apple?

tintumon:

the colour of orange is orange but the colour of apple is not apple..!!

👉Chandigarh Airpot Par Mumbai Ki Flight No.9 Ke Plane Ki Seat No.52 Par Baithe Passanger Ke Sath Khadi Air Hostess Ke Boy Friend Ke Ghar Ke Bed Room Ke Attached Bathroom Ke Right Side wali windo Ke Sath wali Gali Ke Pehle Mod Par School Ki Class 7th Ke Teacher Ke Table Ke Samne wali Row Ke 7th Bench Ke Sath wali Bench Par Baithe Hue Student Ke Bag Me Padi Hui Hindi Ki Book Ke Page No.57 Ki Line No.10 Me Likha Tha Ke Kisi Ko Itna Pareshan Karna Buri Baat Hai.

👉TEACHER ka darja MAA se bhi ucha kyon hota hai?

- Kyonki Maa LORI se ek bacche ko sula deti hai. But Teacher apne LECTURE se puri class ko sula deti hai.

Teacher Student Very Very Funny Jokes in Hindi

👉Cutest msg ever.

Teacher ne 1 chote bache se pucha-Tumhari mother ka kya naam hai?

Child- abhi naam nahi rakha hai, Pyar se mumma mumma hi kehta hu..

👉Teacher: Last year you were in love with that girl and this year you are in love with another girl.

What do you think of yourslf?

Student: SYLLABUS changed mam.

👉Bahut dard hota hai jab teacher bolta hai ki

tumhara or tumhare aage wale ka answer ek hai.

Tab dil se aawaz aati hai.

To sawal bhi to ek hi tha.

👉Impact of Movies: 

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi? 

Student:- He is the one who helped Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend.

👉Ek bacha har roz MATHS teacher ko phone lagata.

Teacher ki patni-

"kitni baar kaha wo mar gaye,

bar bar phone kyu karte ho?"

Baccha- sun ke accha lagta hai.

👉Teacher: Ye Kis ka Signature Hai?

"@@@@@@@"

Student: Mere Pitaji Ka

Teacher: Aisa Kaise ?

Student: Ji, Wo "JALEBI" Bechte Hain, 

Unke Haath Aise Hi Chalte Hain.

👉Teacher-Pappu, what is your cast? 

Pappu-Pehle to Hum Verma the, 

fir Sharma ho gaye, 

Uske baad Sunaar, 

fir luhar ho gaye, 

Abhi hai Darzi, 

Aage Mummy ki marzi.

👉Student-Mam, Jab Hindustan ko Hind. 

Pakistan ko Pak 

Australia ko Aus kehte Hain 

to Brazil Or London ko kya kahege? 

Mam- Tu apna kam kar Haramkhor.

👉Teacher: Aaj school aane mein itni deri kyo hui? 

Student: Masterji, aate samey road par ek board dikh gaya jispe likha tha - 

aage school hai, go slow.

👉If only a single Teacher do not teach all subjects to students,

then why teachers hope that students can study all the subjects?

"WAKE UP Students WAKE UP"

👉Teacher- Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?

Happy- NEIL ARMSTRONG.

Teacher- Aur doosra?

Happy- Teri maa ki doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga.

Langda thodi tha woh.

Best Teacher Student Jokes in Hindi

👉Student school mein gadha lekar aaya.

Teacher: - 'O my god.! gadha Q laye ho.

Student:- Aapne ek baar kaha

tha ke maine bade -bade gadho ko insan banaya hai.

maine socha iski bhi Life ban jayegi.

Student Rock Teacher shock.

👉I got 0 marks in exam..

So Check the paper and tell me i am right na.!

Q.1 What is formula of water?

Ans: H,i,j,k,l,m,n,o (H to O).

Q.2 Till when 2nd world war was fought?

Ans: From page 115 to page120.

Q.3 Who was Bhagat Singh?

Ans: Ajay devgan, Bobby deol…

Now tel me who is wrong, me or teacher!

👉Teacher: aaj tune fir homework

kyon nahi kiya?

Student = sir light nahi thi.

Teacher= to mombatti jala leta.

Student= sir machis nahi utha sakta tha,

Teacher= kyun be ?

Student= sir puja k ghar mein rakhi thi,

Teacher= to uthayi kyon nahi ?

Student= nahaya nahi tha sir.

Teacher- saale nahaya kyon nahi tha?

Student= paani nahi tha sir.

Teacher= abbey, paani kyon nahi tha?

Student -sir motar nahi chal rahi thi.

Teacher = Saale ab motar ko kya hua?

Student - Abbey Saale Pagla gaya hai kya ....

Kutte Kamine

Kitni baar bolun Saale ki light nahi thi.

👉A Sad Story:

Ek student ko apni classmate se pyar ho gaya.

Ladke ne use propose kiya Lekin ladki ne inkar kar diya aur teacher ko uski complaint kardi.

Teacher ne ladke ko kaafi daanta or 1 week ke liye class se nikal diya.

Jab 1 week baad ladka wapas class mein gaya to Ladki ko uss se pyar ho gaya Ladki ne us ladke ki book mein

likha: 'I m sorry & I love u too'

Ladke ne koi response nahi diya.

Isi tarah 4 saal guzar gaye.

Moral:- bewkoof ladki itna bhi nahi samajti Ladke kabhi books nahi kholte hai...

New Teacher Student Comedy Jokes in Hindi

👉Me: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: What for?

Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF

SECRETS.

👉Teacher says to student, In Algebra

A=B

And

B=C.

It means A=C.

Now give relevant example.

Student: Sir, I love U n U love your

daughter, It means that I love your daughter.

👉Teacher : Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773.

Student : Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died.!!!

👉Aishwarya's Baby in school.

Teacher-who is ur grand pa?

Baby-Big B 

Teacher-who is ur mother?

Baby-Miss World 

Teacher-who is ur father? 

Baby-No Idea Sir Ji.

👉School mein master ji ne sabse pucha- Bachho batao mujh mein koi bhi kami nahi hai, to mujhe aap log kya keh ke bulaoge.. ?

Student- Kami na ?

👉Student's attitude: Samundar se keh do apni lehrein sambhaal ke rakhe, zindagi mein toofan laane ke liye hamara "Result" hi kaafi hai. .

👉Arz kiya hai- class mein masterji sharab liye baithe hain, gor farmaiye. 

Class mein masterji sharab liye baithe hain, 

aur student itne harami saale glass liye baithe hain.

👉Sir- samundar Mein Nimbu ke Ped Ho To Tum Kaise Todoge? 

Student-chidiya Ban ke.

Sir-Aadmi ko chidiya tera baap banayega?

Student-Samundar Mein Ped Tera Baap lagayega?

👉Govt.School Ke Bacche Kisi Ko Ghaseet Ke School Le Ja Rahe The, 

Buzurg-Isko Chor Do Ye Khud School Ayega 

BOY-Ye Student Nahi School Ka Mastar Hai.

👉Examiner-Give me the name of this bird by description of her leg? 

Student-i don't know. 

Examiner-you are fail, What is ur name?

Student-see my leg and find out?

👉L.k.G. Student :

your Slate is nice dude."

U.K.G. Student: don't talk nonsense.

This is Samsung Galaxy Note man!!

👉Teacher to Boy: Kal absent kyon the tum?

Boy: Ma'am, aapke kehne par main ' The Dirty Picture ' dekhne gaya tha.

Teacher : Kya? Maine aisa kab kaha tha?

Boy : Ma'am, aap hi ne toh kaha tha, VIDYA mein mann lagaao..

Teacher Student Jokes in Hindi for Status

👉Its a Killer...

Superblesson in Hindi:

Teacher : Prasang sahit vyakhya karo - "Bheegay hoth tere, pyasa dil ye mera"

Student : Yeh line bollywod ke prasidh kavi Sant Shri Emran Hashmi ji ki rachna 'Murder' ki prasidh kavita "Bhige hoth tere" se li gayi hai. Is kavita mein kavi jab bhi devi Malika ko nirvastra nachte hue dekhtey hai to unka sabar toot jata hai aur woh kehte hain, hey devi jis tarha tumharey hothon ke andar ka jal tumhari pyas bhuja raha hai, usi tarha mai bhi usi jal se apni pyas bhujana chahta hu. In lines se humko kavi ke kamine evam ashlil hone ka ehsas hota hai. Kavi ke bhaav saral evam spasht roop se tharqii hai. Unhone bahut kathor bhavo ko badi saralta se apni rachna mein dikhaya hai. .

Teacher fainted!!!!

👉Teacher: Bus Ke Driver Aur Conductor Mein Kya Fark Hai ??

Student: Conductor Soya To Kisi Ka Ticket Nahi Katega..

& Driver Soya To Sabka Ticket Kat Jayega...

👉Teacher -Tum bade hokar kya karoge?

Student - Shaadi.

Teacher - Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge.

Student - Dulha Banunga.

Teacher - Oh ho, I mean to say, bade hoker kya haasil karoge

Student - Dulhan.

Teacher- Abbe. matlab bade ho kar mumy papa k liye kya karoge.? 

Student - Bahu launga.

Teacher - Haraamkhor.. Tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?

Student - Pota.

Teacher - Hey bhagwan. Abbe zindagi ka kya maksad hai.?

Student - "Hum do hamare do..

👉Difference between insult & achievement??

If u cry seeing your qustion papr itz an insult.

BUT

If u make your teacher cry seeing ur answr paper itz an achievement.

👉Teacher: Translate this sentence in English - Apne hi kiye pe paani pher dena?

Student Thinking 

&

answered 

"FLUSH"

👉Madam- Tu ro kyon raha hai?

Ladka- Meri mummy mere papa ko KUTTA kehti hai aur mere PAPA unko billi.

mujhe samaj nahi aata ki main PILLA hu ya BILLA.