Today is an Annual Account Closing Date

Today is an Annual Account Closing Date....
Lets clear all our
Misunderstandings
Hurt,
Anger,
Resentment,
Guilt,
frars,
Rejections,
Failures,
Envy,
Misbehavior,
Mistakes and
all Negative Feelings

Close these Accounts

Wish you all a very
Happy n Healthy Wealthy
New Financial Year 2015-2016

Pehle Ghar Mein Jab Shaadi Hoti Thi

Har Jalte Deepak Tale Andhera Hota Hai



Har jalte deepak tale andhera hota hai,

Har raat ke peeche ek savera hota hai,

lok dar jaate hain musibat ko dekh kar,

har musibat ke peeche sach ka savera hota hai..


God is the Best Listener

Karmo Se Hi Pehchaan Hoti Hai

Girls of 1980 and 2015

Girls of 1980 : agar tum mil jao jamana chhod denge hum.
.
.
Girls of 2015: agar tum mil jao purana chhod denge hum.

Sr. Manager to Jr. Manager

Sr. Manager to Jr. Manager : Tumhe aaj late evening tak kam karna padega!

Jr Manager : kya hai sahab raat ko mere dhande ka time hota hai.

Sr Manager : kya matlab ?

Jr. Manager : Sir raat ko Auto chalata hu...
itni salary me ghar kahan chalta hai

Sr. Manager : Bas kar pagle rulayega kya. !!
kabhi raat ko biwi bachon ko le ke aana meri pav-bhaji ki dukan pe!

(Dedicated to all employees who are waiting for appraisal)

Why Tendulkar Married an Elder Woman

"Why 'Tendulkar' married an Elder woman......
and
'Kumble' married Divorced woman.......?
.
Because
.
'Batsman' loves 'LOOSE BALLS'
and
'Spinners' loved 'USED BALL'..............

When Guests Visit Your Home

Modern Mehmangiri: When guests visit your home,
you should be a good host and ask "Kya lenge?
Chai?
Cold Drink?
Ya...
.
.
Wi-Fi Password?"

ABCD Aati Hai Kya

A B C D aati hai kya.....?????
Agar aati bhi hogi to aisi nahi aati hogi.....
kyon ki esi aaj tak aapko kisi ne nahi sikhai hogi.
A=Ambe
B=Bhawani
C=Chamunda
D=Durga
E=Ekrupi
F=Farsadharni
G=Gayatri
H=Hinglaaj
I=Indrani
J=Jagdamba
K=Kali
L=Laxmi
M=Mahamaya
N=Narayani
O=Omkarini
P=Padma
Q=Qatyayani
R=Ratnapriya
S=Shitla
T=Tripura Sundari
U=Uma
V=Vaishnavi
W=Warahi
Y=Yati
Z=Zyvana

ABCD padhte jao..
JAY MATA DI kahte jao...!!!
I hope i am the first one to wish... !!HaPpY NaVraTri In AdVanCe..

Na Angrezan Diyan Bediyaan

Na Angrezaan diyan bediyaan, na waqt di
zanjeer,
Bhagat Singh di soch nu kattan wali,
nahi bani koi shamsheer.
Shaheedan Di Qaum wakhri hundi.
Oh marr ke wi A-marr ho jaandey ne.
On the death anniversary of Shaheed
Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev, I
urge the youth of Punjab to keep
alive Bhagat Singh's thoughts about
justice for all and building the nation
selflessly.
Say No to Drug

During Engineering Viva

During Engineering Viva..

Qn: What is Sensitivity?

Ans: Kuch Thanda ya Garam khane se daanto me Tez Jhanjhanahat ho to use Sensitivity kehte hai.

Student from IIN ...

Sunny Leone To Sabzi Wala

Sunny leone : Mujhe koi aisi sabzi do jiske 7 faayde hon !

Sabzi wala: Ye Lo madam Gajar !!
.
1: Pasand aaye to Aloo Matar ke saath paka lena... Warna ..
.
2: Juice bana ke pe sakti ho... Nahi to ..
.
3: Salad bana sakti ho... Ye bhi na karo to ..
4: Gaajar ka halwa bana lena... Nahi to ..
.
5: Chinese noodles mein daal lena... Aisa bhi nahi to phir ..
.
6: Murabba bana sakte ho... Ye bhi na ho to ..
.
7: Achaar bana lena !!

Bhai !!! Jo tu dhoond raha hai wo nahi milega...
Post dekh kis Sanskaari aadmi ne bheji hai!!!

Girl To Father

Girl: I m having heart surgery today.

Boy: I know !

Girl: I love u !

Boy: I love u more, much more !???

Aftr surgery,
she wakes up n sees only her Father besides her..
Girl: where is he ?

Father: u dont know who gave u the heart ?

Girl: what?? ? (starts crying) ?

Father: ha ha..
are mazak kar rha hu....
wo Potty karne Gaya Hai!

Jaruri nai har jagah emotion ho...
kabhi kabhi loose motion bhi hote hian.

Million Dollar Truth

If Saturday and Sunday Don’t Excite You, then change your Friends.
If Monday doesn’t motivate you, then change your profession.
If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should change your spouse ..!!!!!

Ek Ladka Sharaab Pee Kar Ghar Aaya

Ek Ladka Sharaab Pee Kar Ghar Aaya.
Dad Ki Maar Se Bachne ke Liye Laptop Khol Kar Padhne Lag Gaya.
Dad: “Pee Ke Aaya Hai Kya?”
Son: “Nahi to Dad.”
Dad: “To Kamine ,
Suitcase Khol Kar Kon Si Padhayi Kar Raha Hai?“

Comparing WC Teams With Academic Performance

Comparing WC teams with Academic Performance

India == A unpredictable student who either tops or fails miserably and has a rich daddy. Even if he fails the mother covers up by saying ‘Atleast he has better marks than his other classmate called Pakistan’

South Africa == A student who tops in units and semesters, but fails in the final exams

Pakistan == A student who has the potential of being a topper but spends most of his time fighting and even beating other schoolmates. Either blames the teacher, paper quality of the exam paper, or fellow classmate (India) for his non-performance

West Indies == A student who was a topper till 5th grade but currently fails in every exams. Has a tendency of not preparing for the final exams and also leaving midway from the examination hall

New Zealand == A student who always scores a distinction but never tops the class

Australia == A student who is always a topper and the biggest bully of the school

Sri Lanka == A student who suddenly became a potential topper after 5th grade

England == A rare case where the teacher is still a student who has never cleared a final exam.

Women Means


WOMAN MEANS :-
W ➖ WONDERFUL MOTHER
O ➖ OUTSTANDING FRIEND
M ➖ MARVELLOUS DAUGHTER
A ➖ ADORABLE SISTER
N ➖ NICEST GIFT TO MEN FROM GOD

Pass to every women to feel proud....

Interviewer To Man

A man was being interviewed for a post of a commando in Army!

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer instinct! So do you think you are eligible?

Man: Sir....  Can my wife apply?

Why You Should Collet That 1 Rupee

Why you should collect that 1 rupee change from the supermarket.

Suppose 500 people visit bigbazaar daily. No one collects change.
500×1= rs500.
For 365 days, 500×365 = rs 1,82,500
This is from ONE bigbazaar MARKET.

There are 1500 bigbazaar markets in the country.
rs 1,82,500×1500 = rs 273,750,000

27 crore per year.
& the worst part about this is, IT'S NOT EVEN TAXABLE because the bill doesn't count the one rupee, remember?
Now you know why they always put price tags like 49/- 99/- 999/- only?
Please forward this information.

Sardaro Pe Joke Sunte Ho

Sardaro pe joke sunte ho ab ye padho....
1⃣Ek sardar hua hai is duniya main uska naam hai sardar HARI SINGH NALWA,  Iss ki murti baraak obama  apni seat ke peche lagana chahta hai
Pucho kyo

Kyon ki woh kehta hai yehi mard surma maa
ne paida kiya hai jisne aaj tak Afghanistan main raj kiya hai

2⃣Chal ek aur

Do sardar train ke niche aa gaye isliye nahin ke  shatabdi platform pe aa rahi thi

Balki lsliye ki train rokni zaroori thi

Kyonki angrej freedom fighters ko bandi banakar le ja rahe the

3⃣Chal ek aur

Pakistan ke army ke bhootpurv general ka bayan 65 aur 71 ki jung
Hum sardaron ki vajah se hare

4⃣Chal ek aur

Pakistan ke general ka kehna h agar Pakistan aur Hindustan ki border ke bich agar Punjab na hota......

Toh Hindustan ko Pakistan banne main do ghante lagenge Kyonki aaj bhi Pakistan sardaron se darta hai

5⃣Chal ek aur
 
World me ginti sirf 2% h aur sabi jagah milte h sardar ,India ke 50 % se jyada garibo ka pet Gurudware ke langar(khana) se bharta he...

Proud to be a sikh...

Share karo agar sehmat ho to.
Sir : Saare jokes Sardaro par kyu
bante hain..??
.
.
A sikh student : "Jab desh kamzor
tha to usse apni Bahu-Betiyon ko
Mughalon se bachane ke liye SIKHON
ki zarurat thi.
.
SIKHON ne Raksha ki (Izzat
Bachaayi)
.
.
Fir Azaadi mein SIKHON ki zarurat
thi,
SIKHON ne apne yog mein 86%
kurbaniaan di or fir Aazadi Mili
.
.
Fir Desh ko bhookh lagi, SIKHON ne
Gehu ugaya aur 90% Anaaj diya
(Bhookh Miti)
.
.
.
Ab desh hasna chahta hai toh
90% jokes bhi Sardaron par.
.
.
.
.
Yaani Sardar hain toh IZZAT hai,
.
.
Sardar hain toh SURAKSHA hai,
.
.
Sardar hain toh KHANA hai,
.
aur
.
.
Sardar hain toh HANSI hai,
aur
.
yeh sardar hain to hamare gharon mein
pooja hoti hai.
.
.
Yeh sardar hain tabhi hamare border
par suraksha hoti hai
.
Yeh sardar hain to zindagi asaan hai.
.
Ye Sardar Desh ki Shaan hain.

Lo aaj suno kaun hote hain SARDAR?

Jisne unch-neech ka fark mitaya-
SRI GURU NANAK DEV JI,
the SARDAR;

jisne Hind ke liye sir katwaya- SRI GURU TEG BAHADUR JI
the SARDAR,

Jisne dharm ke liye pariwar gawaaya- SRI GURU GOBIND SINGH JI
the SARDAR;

Garam tave mein baith ke apne prano ko diya war-
SRI GURU ARJAN DEV JI
the SARDAR,

Desh ke liye phaansi ko gale lagaya- BHAGAT SINGH
the SARDAR,

Jaaliyawale baag golikand ke hatyare Dayer ko jisne london ja kar diya maar-
UDHAM SINGH the SARDAR,

Inke sir sehra Shahidi ka aur gale kurbani ka haar;

yeh hote hain "SARDAR"
buuuuurrrrrrraaaaaaaaa eanna forward karo ke har eak nu pata chal jave sardar kon ha .

America da jhanda America jhoolda hai, Pakistan da jhanda Pakistan jhoolda hai, India da jhanda India jhoolda hai, Par GURU GOBIND SINGH JI da NISHAN SAHIB sari duniyan which jhoolda hai. Eh sms Sachkhand Takhat Sri Hazur Sahib to chaleya hai te usdi kirpa naal tuhaade kol aaya hai, Tusi vi is nu agge bhejo ji Taan ke Sikhaan di unity da ek vakhra nazara hove.

My Strength Did Not Come

My strength did not come from lifting weights.

My strength came from lifting myself when I was knocked down.

Wishing You a Very Happy Holi

Husband Smiled on Wife

Wife: Imagine karo
agar main aapki har baat samjhu aur har baat maanu toh.?

Husband hasta hai,
Bahut hasta hai...
Haste haste zameen par gir jata hai aur
khushi se chilla ke kehta hai -

" Saala imagine bhi nahi kar paa Raha hu ".

Approx 270 Litres of Water

Approx 270 Lac litres of water is wasted in India during the festival of Holi.

So join our campaign to save water.
.
.
Please don't add water to your drink.

Please drink neat.

Have a spirited Holi!

This Ones a Ladies Special

This one's a Ladies special

Written by a lady

After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too..

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is the car will be stolen.

Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police.I gave them my location, Description of the car, Place I parked etc, I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband, "Honey", I stammered; (I always call him "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence.  I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice. 
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."

He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."..

Oo womania ooo ooo womania...

Baap To Beta

BAAP: Me tumhari shadi apni mrji se kronga.
BETA: No
BAAP: Larki Ambani ki beti hai
BETA: Phr Thik hai

Baap Ambani k pas gaya
BAAP: Mein tumhari beti ko bahu bnana chahta hun.
Ambani : no
BAAP: Mera beta World Bank ka CEO hai.
Ambani: Phir Thik hai.
Baap world bank k president k pass jata hai.
BAAP: Mere bete ko bank ka CEO bna do.
Presidnt: No
BAAP: Wo Ambani ka damad hai.
Presidnt: Phir Thik hai.
YE HAI SIYASAT Naukri b mili or chokri bhi___