Bina Boyfriend Wali Dulhan

1970: Dulha Dahej Mein Sasurji se radio Mangta Tha..

1980: Cycle..

1990: motor cycle

2000: Car..

2013: Bas Bina Boyfrnd wali dulhan de DO..
Baaki main kama lunga..

Jab Tum Kisi ko Khuda se Maango

Jab tum kisi ko khuda se mango or wo tum ko na mile to

samjh jao ki tumhe khuda se koi or maang chuka hai

Isse kya hai na bezzati kam feel hoti hai..

Traffic Police To Boy

Traffic police wala chalan book nikal ke bola: "naam bol.. ??

Ladka bola: "trikulavatt thekkeparambli swami".

Police wala (chalan book bandkarke): "Agli baar gaadi dheere chalana...

Remember Those 500 Words Essay in Exams

Remember those 500 words essay in exams,

some kids wrote 300 words of nonsense just to fill up the space?

Those kids, today are in Engineering Colleges!

For all Employees Must Read

All of you who have seen the movie "A Wednesday"..
will love these rephrased Naseerudin Shah Dialogue’s...

Manager:- Kaun ho tum..??? Kya pehchan hai tumhari ?

Unknown Employee: Kaun hoon main..!!!
Mein woh hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai,
Main woh hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta hai, Yeh soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchaan ne se inkar na kar de...
Main woh hoon jo, Aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se naa nikal de..
Main woh hoon jiski biwi use roz 10 bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
Mera haal poochhne ke liye ya kaam poochhne ke liye nahi,.. Balki woh yeh jaananaa chahti hai ki... Mein field mein kaam kar raha hun ya pressure mein aakar kahin baithkar daru pee rahahun...
Main woh hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. woh bhi time mil jaye to...
Main woh hoon jo aksar phasta hain.. Kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mein phasta hai , Kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mein phasta hai, kabhi boss ke bawaal mein fasta hai.
Walk-In interview ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne... Uss bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. Main woh hoon..
I'm the….. JUST A STUPID EMPLOYEE.

Teacher To Student

Teacher: Bus Ke Driver Aur Conductor Mein Kya Fark Hai ??

Student: Conductor Soya To Kisi Ka Ticket Nahi Katega..
& Driver Soya To Sabka Ticket Kat Jayega...

Zeenat Aman To Firoz Khan

Bikini pahenke Zeenat Aman sings : Kya dekhte ho

Firoz Khan : Surat tumhari

Pappu To Gf Dad

Pappu to his gf dad- uncle g. Yaar menu tuhadi kudi da hath chahida.

Dad gusse ch- na main saleya kudian de spare part vechda?

Husband To Wife

Husband :- " Kamar Mein Bahut Dard Hai..
Baaju Ke Ghar Se IODEX Le Aao..

Wife :- "Wo Nahi Denge...

Husband :- "Kitne Kanjoos Hain Saale,
Jaane Do, Apna Hi Nikal Lo,
Almaari Mein Rakha Hai.

Teacher To Student

Its a Killer...
Superblesson in Hindi:

Teacher : Prasang sahit vyakhya karo - "Bheegay hoth tere, pyasa dil ye mera"

Student : Yeh line bollywod ke prasidh kavi Sant Shri Emran Hashmi ji ki rachna 'Murder' ki prasidh kavita "Bhige hoth tere" se li gayi hai. Is kavita mein kavi jab bhi devi Malika ko nirvastra nachte hue dekhtey hai to unka sabar toot jata hai aur woh kehte hain, hey devi jis tarha tumharey hothon ke andar ka jal tumhari pyas bhuja raha hai, usi tarha mai bhi usi jal se apni pyas bhujana chahta hu. In lines se humko kavi ke kamine evam ashlil hone ka ehsas hota hai. Kavi ke bhaav saral evam spasht roop se tharqii hai. Unhone bahut kathor bhavo ko badi saralta se apni rachna mein dikhaya hai. .

Teacher fainted!!!!

Which Country in the World Has Largest english Speaking People

Which country in the world has largest english speaking people?

Ans: Daytime - USA

LATE EVENING,
After 3 pegs - INDIA

Oh Kehndi Ke Jiniya Mere Kol NAIL PAINT

Oh Kehndi Ke Jiniya Mere
Kol "NAIL PAINT" Va Ohne Tere Kol Kapde Ni Hone ,,,,,,

Main Keha Kudiye Jinne mere YAAR Aa Ohne Tere "RISHTEDAAR" Ni Hone.....

Biwi To Pati

Biwi :- Mere khayal se hamari beti ki kisi ladke ke saath setting ho gai hai..

Pati- wo kese?

Biwi - Q ki vo kafi dino se recharge ke paise nahi maang rahi hai.

Engineering Students ka Dard

Engineering students ka dard..

Wo ye bol kar humein chhod gaye dosto..

Tumhare to EXAMS hi khatm nahi hote,
tum pyar kya Ghanta kroge...

Jinn To Man

Aaj mujhe raste mein jinn mila

Jinn: Kya hukum mere aaka...???
.
Man : Meri taraf se Engineering exams tum de do..
.
Jinn: Aaka...! Hukum karo, bakchodi nahi..

Dear Human

Dear Human, '
''
U get mad when i wake u up
'
& u also get mad when i dont wake u
'
Chahta kya hai bhai tu?
'
Yours Sincerely, Confused Alarm.

Bhag Milkha Bhag

Bhag Milkha Bhag is an inspirational movie for this generation,
.
and especially because Petrol Prices are rising every month.

Ik Sohni ji Kudi ne Methon Raah Puchyaa

ik sohni ji kudi ne methon raah puchyaa.
puchya v oney iko saah puchyaa,
menu taan disse g bus phull girdey.
menu ki ptaa g oney kyaa puchyaa.
dekdi rahi naa moohon bol futyaa,
fer sabar odey da gya ban tutyaa.
ghoori jahi vat oho gaanh nang gai,
jaandi ohi kehgi jaaa-2 luchyaaa.

Delhi Metro

Delhi Metro =
Hugging.
Kissing.
Smooching.

Mumbai Metro =
"Ticha mayla dhakka kaun mara re!"
"Bhau mala jau dya na.."
"Line kayko toda, abhi aise hi khada reh"
"Gate block kar Borivali aa gaya!"

Jadon Naal Tuitions Parda c

Jdon Naal Tuitions Parda c,
Ni Mere Utte Odon Da Marda c,
Mere Pichhe Gediyan Laundaa c,
Ptaa Labh Liya Mere Ghar Da c,
Hunn Jmaaa Sirre Da Velly Ai,
Saara Pind Ehh Gal Jaan-da,
Main Geet Puraane Sun-Di Aan,
Ni Jatt Fan Hai 'Babbu Mann' Da.

Main Kardiyaan Pyar Te Oh Makhhol Jannda Hai

Main Kardiyaan Pyar Te Oh Makhhol Jannda Hai,
Parr Mere Dil Diyaan Gallaan Nu Hunn Konn Jannda Hai,
Karda Hai Pyar Ohvii Parr Jatonda Nhi Menu,
Bas Likh'Likh Sheyar Mere Lyi Oh Gaunn Jan'da Hai.

Wo Ban Sanwar Kar Chale Hain Ghar se

Wo ban sanwar kar chale hain ghar se.....
Hai khoye khoye se bekhabar se.....
Dupatta dhalka hua hai sir se.....
Khuda bachaaye buri nazar se....

1 Engineer ke 6 Month Baby ka Birthday

1 Engineer ne apne 6 month baby ki birthday party rakhi thi

Kisine pucha: 6 month baby ka b'day kaise?

Engineer: hum semester pattern follow karte hain.

Kon Kehta Hai Ki Khamosiyan

Kon Kehta Hai Ki Khamosiyan Khamosh Hoti Hain?
Kabhi Khamoshiyon Ko Khamoshi-Se Suno,
Shayad Khamoshiyan Wo Keh De Jinki Lafzo Mein Talash Hoti Hai...

Life of an Engineering Student

Life of an Engineering student-

Ist year- Itni ragging, ye formals aur 75% attendance! Is college se acha toh koi aur college hi mil jata!

IInd year- Na koi gf hai, na koi aur aish. 4 saal ki engineering 2 saal ki kar deni chahiye. Kya ghanta college life hai yaar.

IIIrd year- Arey yaar acha package bhi nahi milega. CAT ya GATE he dena pagega. I hate my college.
IVth year- Itni jaldi 4 saal nikal gae. Ab in dosto ke binakahan mazaa aaega! College life se jyaada aish aur kahanhogi yar.

P.S- Dedicated to all those who have gone through the ups and down of engineering life. Hope you can relate to it.

New Joined in Office

New joined in office...
Me: Hi
She: Hi
Me: How are you doing? You looking great!
She: I am fine. Thanks!
Me: What's your name?
She: ZOYA
Me: Oh ZOYA!!!....Ummmm... I have a meeting. Bye!
She: Suddenly!!
Me: yeah I have seen Jannat, Ishqazaade and Ranjhana!!!

Bhookh Roti ki Thi Pyaas Paani ki Thi

Bhookh roti ki thi Pyaas paani ki thi...
Baat yeh ab Kisson Kahaani ki thi,
Ab bache hain kahaan dastoor-e-jahaan...
bhookh Jismaani thi pyaas javaani ki thi,
Jo ik jodaa chalaa tha safar ke liye...
woh toh chala tha apne ghar ke liye,
Daur-e-safar mein yun khatra bhadaa...
Jode ke gird tha Giddhon ka jhund khadaa,
Giddhon ne nochaa koyal ko yun...
Jism se uske behne laga tha khoon,
Koyal pe tooti hawas ki ghadhi...
Thi uske liye woh badi kafas ki ghadi,
Koyal tadap se chillayi thi...
Yeh aawaz kyun na unhe sunaayi di,
Main kaise kahun ki woh insaan the...
Koyal ke daaman pe toh nishaan the,
Nishbat-e-abaroo woh loota kiye...
Khwaab koyal ke ik ik toota kiye,
Shab ki khamoshi mein ik awaaz thi...
Sadak pe padi koyal ik zinda laash thi,
Aaj utre hain naqaab insaani chehre se...
Hue Dil bhi aur Rooh bhi azaad insaani pahre se,
Aakhir bhookh ko mil hi gayi fatah...
Rooh haari Jism haara...
Giddhon ko bhi mila sukoon...
Koyal ko Beraham maara...
Beraham maara.

The World Feels so Beautiful

The world feels so beautiful,

The skies look more blue,

The sun shines brighter,

And its all bcoz of you!