Hope That you Have

Hope That you Have Fantastic, Prosperous, Happy, Nutritious, Vibrant, Wonderful, Mind-blowing, Full of energy, Wonderful & Very
HAPPY HAPPY BRAND NEW YEAR 2014
maintain smiling..

Tortoise and a Rabbit Wrote an Entrance Exam

Tortoise and a Rabbit wrote an entrance examination,
Tortoise got 80%,
Rabbit obtained 81%.
Both went 4 admission to a engineering college,
Cut off needed was 85%.
Rabbit didn't get admission but the tortoise got admission.
How?
You remember when we were in the 1st std the tortoise won a race..
Sports quota 5% marks additional!!!

Have a Jolly Good New Year 2014

Wish you a,
Jolly January
Fantastic February
Marvelous March
Awesome April
Magnificent May possibly
Joyous June
Juicy July
Perfumed August
Scintillating September
Outstanding October
Nice November
Delightful December
Have a jolly good New Year 2014.

Don't Curse Life to be Unfair

Don't curse life to be unfair to you.
Whenever you really feel like a loser..
remember that you have people who participate in Bigg Boss.

An Awkward Moment

The Awkward Moment..!!
When your texting prone on your bed,
& all the sudden your phone decides being ninja,
it slips through your hands & attacks your face.

Whos Aamir Khan???

Whos aamir khan???
The guy who cant walk in a thick pipe in the motion picture ISHQ,
is riding a motorcycle in dat same pipe.

Dhoom-3 Deleted Scene

Dhoom-3 Deleted scene:


In first scene John & Hrithik tell Amir :-


"yaar Bindaas chori kar,
Ye Jai and Ali aajtak kisi ko nahi pakad paye hain."

The Worst Part of DHOOM 3

The worst part of DHOOM 3 is not necessarily Abhishek Bachchan
not even Uday Chopra..
But Its Action and Stunts...!!!

Blue Eyes Hypnotize Teri Kardi aa Mainu

Blue Eyes hypnotize teri Kardi ae Mainu

I wonder Choti dress mein Thand nahi lagdi Tainu ??

Smoking Effects LIPS

Smoking effects LIPS
Drinking effects WORKING LIVER
Love effects HEART
But
The most danger one is STUDY.
It effects the mind,
Direct komma
Avoid it & Get pleasure from.

Instead of DHOOM 3

Instead of DHOOM 3,
they could very easily have named the movie
'Aamir and 2 Idiots'.
That would possibly be better....

Bitter Truth

Bitter Truth...

"Everyone would like to Park his bike in Shadow,
but,
Not a soul would like to Plant a new Tree".

Pappu To Boss

Pappu : Sir meri Patni mere saath baahar ghumne jaana chaahti hai.. chhutti chahiye..

Boss : chhutti nahin milegi........

Pappu : Thanks a lot Sir ji..

main jaanta tha,
musibat ke waqt aap hi kaam aayenge...

Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Mein

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai...
Agar zindagi teri zulfo ki chhav mein guzar jati toh...
Shaid Mujhe HOME LOAN lene ki zarurat hi na padti...

Agar China ke Paas Great Wall Hai

"Agar China ke paas Great wall hai..
Toh
INDIA ke paas bhi KEJRIWAL hai.."

Meri Facebook Kahani

Kaal Raat Book Meri Taraf Dekhti Rahi,
Aur Facebook Mujhe Apni Taraf Khichta Raha,
Facebook Ka Jhoka Mera Man Moh Gaya,
Aur Kaal Raat Fir Ek Honhar Student,
Bina Padhe Facebook Mein Kho Gaya...

Mujhe Toh Khud ki Value

Mujhe to khud ki value tab pata chalti hai,
Jab customer care wale kehte hain-

"Aap ka call hamare liye important hai ,
kripya line par bane rahe''.

No Matter How Older You May Get

No matter how older you may get,
you will always always be my little boy.
May God bless you with all you desire the most with life.
Happy Birthday my son!

Things to Learn From SRK Movies

1)Kuch Kuch hota hai: DOST SE PYAAR
2)Mohabattein: PRINCIPAL KI BETI SE PYAAR
3)Kal ho na ho: PADOSI KI BETI SE PYAAR
4)Kabhi khushi Kabhi gum: NAUKAR KI BETI SE PYAAR
5)Kabhi Alvida na Kehna: KI BIWI SE PYAAR
6)Baazigar: DUSHMAN KI BETI SE PYAAR
7)Pardes: PYAAR
8)Dil se: TERRORIST SE PYAAR
8)Main Hoon na: INSTRUCTOR SE PYAAR
10)Veer Zaara: Hindu hoke Muslim ladki se pyar,
woh bhi Pakistani
11)Chennai Express: DON KI BETI SE PYAAR..
Note - SRK teaches us the best way to manage risky love extramarital affairs..!!!
Arre haan, risky se yaad aaya,
The many risky love is...
12)Rab ne bana di jodi: KHUD KI biwi se pyaar.......

BF txt to His GF on WatsApp

BF text to his GF on watsApp...
BF- Hello
GF- Hello
BF- Kahan ho?
GF- Main apne papa ki BMW mein club ja rahi hu,
abhi driver mujhe club chhod dega,
uske baad nearby mall mein shopping ke liye jaungi,
tab tumhe call karti hu,
Tum kahan par ho?
BF- 401 no ki bus mein,
TUMHARI SEAT K PICHE,
TUM TICKET MAT LENA MaiNE LE LI HAI.

Who is Even Happier Than BJP and AAP Today?

Who is even happier than BJP and AAP today???

Indian Cricket Team.

Media isn't covering their disastrous failures coz of elections!

One Day i Met Money

One day I met Money...
I said you are just a sheet of Paper......!!
Money smiled & said-Ofcorse I m a sheet of paper,
but,
I hvn't seen a dustbin around my life......!
Thats Attitude......!!

Husband To Kidnaper

Wife kidnap hui aur kidnap karne walon ne uske Husband ko call kiya:-

"Agar aaj raat tak paise na diye toh tumhari Wife ka murder kar denge"

Husband khamosh raha.........

Agle din phir phone aya" Agar aaj raat tak paise na diye toh tumhari Wife ko wapas chhor jayenge!"

Husband:- "Paise bol paise kaminey,
darata kyun hai ?"

Dad Ne Beti Ke Room Mein Cigarette Dekha

Dad Ne Beti Ke Room Mein Cigarette Dekha..
Oh God, She Smokes
fir Wisky Dekhi..
Oh God, She Drinks
Fir Ladke Ko Dekha..
Thanks to God, Ye Sab Is ladke ka Hai.

Nelson Mandela

The Sun has been set!
Now the world is preparing to farewell one of the best human being ever born in the world...
You will forever be inside our hearts,
RIP Nelson Mandela!!

Different Types of Girl Friends

Different types of Girl Friends fighting with their own Boy Friends...
Pilot's gf: jyada mat udd samjha....
Teacher's gf: mujhe mat sikhaoo samjhe.....
Dentist's gf: daant tod k haath mein rakh doongi....
C. A's gf: hissab se reh samjha....
Engineer's gf: abey pehle paas to ho ja fir baat krna...!!!

Mistakes Are Embarrassing

Mistakes are embarrassing when they happen;
But years later, you've got a collection of mistakes, called;
Experience that leads you to Success.

Sabse Keh Do k Main Aaj Bahut Khush Hun

""Sabse keh do k Main aaj bahut khush hun
Q ki..
Pichhli thand ki jacket nikaali to pocket se 50 rupey nikle..

Engineering Student's Life

Engineering Student's Life is compared to English Movies
School: Jurassic Park..
Principal: King Kong..
Vice Principle: Hulk..
Teachers: Aliens..
Class Boys: Planet of Apes..
Class Girls: Charlies Angels..
Syllabus: Deep Violet Sea
Exam: Mission Impossible
Invigilator: Terminator..
Outcome: 2012.. (end of the world).

Always Respect Two People

Always respect two people:
'DAD'..... Who has spent most his time and wealth pertaining to u...
'MOTHER'.... Who has spent all her nights to pray for you..

Happy Baba's Day To All

HAPPY BABA'S DAY TO ALL.....!!!!!

SAI mein hai AASTHA,
SAI mein hai VISHWAS,
SAI mein hai SARA SANSAR,
SAI mein hai SHAKTI,
SAI mein hai BHAKTI,
SAI se hi hoti hai ache din ki SHURUWAAT,

ll OM SHREE SAI NAMO NAMAH ll

Girfriend And Boyfriend On Phone

Boy : Hey aaj kya Khana Khaya ?

Girl : Tumhe Bas Yehi batain Karni Aati hain

Boy : Oh oh Ok ye batao ?
How Should Central Bank fight these Inflationary Trends with Minimum Intervention In The Money Markets ?

Girl : Hmmmm…. Daal Chawal khaye Hain !!!

In Bullet Raja


In Bullet Raja...


Saif is playing Raja and Sonakshi is playing Bullet 500 cc.

Husband Insult Wife

Wife : "Pichle saal mere Birthday pe to Lohe ka palang diya tha, is baar kya de rahe ho?"

Husband : "Is baar soch raha hu usme Current de du."

Two Beggers Meet

Two Beggers meet

Two Software Engineers meet

Both asked the same Question to Each other !

Guess What ???

“So, Which Platform are you Working on ? ”

Engineers Always Rock

An Engineer Having No Child, Absolutely no Money, No Home, Blind Mommy, Prays To God..
God Says He's going to Grant Him One Wish!
Engineer: “I Want My Mother To see My Wife Putting Diamond Bangles On My Child’s Hands, Inside our New Bungalow”
God: “Damn! I Still Possess a Lot To Learn From These Engineers”
Engineers Always Rock!

What is Talent ?

What is talent...??
Rahul Gandhi is yet to get started his carrier at 43 yrs
and
Sachin Retired and awared "BHARAT RATNA" AT 40 Yrs.

10 Doctorz Aur 1 Engineer

10 doctorz aur 1 engineer Helicopter Ki Rassi Se Latke Hue The..

Pilot Ne Kaha Load Zyada Hai 1 Aadmi Ko Chodna Hoga..

Engineer Ne Kaha Apni jaan Ki Qurbani Main Deta Hoon...
.....Taaliyan..­ ­

Ye Sun Kar Sab doctorz Taaliyan Bajane Lage,
Aur sabke sab Neechey Gir Gaye.

Ustad to akhirr Ustad hota hai na..

KRRISH Movie Shot

KRRISH movie shot

Jaadoo got married to a girl on earth,

On next morning after wedding nite, girl asked..

"Puri raat nikal gayi, tumne kuch kiya q nahi ?"

Jaadoo replied, "DHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP"

Love in Class

GIRLS WAY: "A girl sitting on the 1st bench turns back and see the boy sitting on last bench and say THANK GOD STUPID AAYA HAI...

BOYS WAY: "Before the boy could see his girl entering in the class all his friends start..

"OYE BHABHI AA GAYI OYE".

True Lines

True Lines..!

Love is Possible After Friendship.
But Friendship is not Possible After Love.!

Because

Medicines Work Before Death Not After Death.!

Boyfriend Insult Girlfriend

Boyfriend on call:" hey baby, what r you doing.. ??

Girlfriend:" Sir dard kar raha hai jaanu sone ja rahi hu,
and you sweet heart.. ??

Boyfriend:" main Cinema Hall mein tere piche baitha popcorn kha raha hu kamini...

Father To Friend

Baap: Mere 4 bachche hain-

1st MBA
2nd MCA
3rd PHD
4th Chor hai

Friend: Chor ko ghar se nikalte Q nahi ?

Baap: Wohi to kamata hai, baaki sab berozgar hain...

6 Negatives Lines With Positive Meanings

6 Negatives lines with positive meanings....!!

1. Money can't buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle .

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember that bastard's name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them(n).

5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does juice** .

6. Smoking kills, but if you don't smoke, doesn't mean you'll never die...!!

"Sometimes there is some SENSE in NONSENSE."

What is The Interesting Thing in Tom n Jerry

What is the interesting thing in Tom n Jerry....??

Saale pura din Nange ghumenge par jab Nahane jayenge to Swim Suit pehan kar jayenge...

ENGINEERS Aim in Life

ENGINEERS Aim in Life must be 6543210.

6 Digit Salary.
5 Days Work.
4 Wheeler Vehicle.
3 Bhk Flat.
2 Cute Children.
1 Sweetheart.
0 Tension

Lekin Milta Kya Hai.....
BABAJI KA THULLUU

Dharam Bhai Means

Dharam Bhai Means - Not Real Brother..

Dharam Pita Means - Not Real Father..

Dharm Behn Means - Not Real Sister..

Then Why Dharm Patni Means - Real Wife....

JAGO JAGO !!!

God To Man

Maine God se kaha ki mere Friends ko hamesha khush rakhna.

God said:- Ok only 4 din ke liye.
Aur woh 4 din tum select kar lo.

Maine kaha thik hai:-
1)summers Day
2)Winter Day
3)Rainy Day
4)Spring Day

God confused & said: No only three days

Maine kaha ok:-
1) Yesterday
2) Today
3) Tomorow

God again confused & said: No only for 2 days

Maine kaha ok:-
1) Day
2) Night

God said: No only for 1 day

Maine phir kaha ok:-
Everyday

God laughed ok baba mera picha choddo Jao hamesha khush raho..

Ek Engineer 2 Cigarettes Pee Raha Tha

Ek Engineer 2 Cigarettes Pee Raha Tha ........

Girl : 2 Cigarette kyu Pee Rahe Ho ?

Engineer : Dost ki yaad aa rahi hai,
1 meri aur 1 mere dost ki...

Kuch din baad engineer 1 Cigarette pee raha tha...

Girl : Dost ko bhool gaye kya?

Engineer : Nhi BewaKoof, maine cigarette peena chhod diya Hai

ab sirf dost ki pee rha hu!!!

Height of Attempting Unknown Qns in an Exam

Height of attempting unknown qns in an exam...

Question: What is an Array..?

Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend.
Eg.

"ARRAY Kanjar idhar aa..."

Sachin Tendulkar 199 Tests

Dhawan + Vijay + Pujara + Virat + Dhoni + Ashwin + Ojha + Bhuvi + Rohit + Shami = 198* Tests!

Master blaster Sachin Tendulkar = 199* Tests !

2013 Generation

Ek Aurat ne 10 Saal ke Bachay ko Cigarette Peety Dekha to Reh Na Saki,

Aur Bachay se Kaha:
“Kya Tumary Parents ko Maloom hai k Tum Cigarette Peety ho?”

BACHA (Mun se Dhuwan Chhorte huye):

“Mohtarma!”

“Kya Aapke Shohar Ko Maloom hai Ke Aap Kisi ghair mard se baat kar rahi hain.

Use Poojti Hai Duniya Jo na de Dikhai

Use poojti hai duniya Jo na de dikhayi..

Maa ko poojta na koi Jisne yeh duniya dikhayi..

At This Joyous Time

At this joyous time,
let us remember fond memories and look forward to great things that are yet to come.
May our lives be filled evermore with good cheer, luck, prosperity and virtue.
Wishing you good fortune this Diwali.

Deepak Ki Roshni

Deepak Ki Roshni,
Patako Ki Awaaz,
Khushiyon Ki Bauchaar,
Apno Ka Pyar,
Mubarak Ho Aapko Diwali Ka Tyohar

Again

Happy "Diwali"
To You And Your Family

Cat To Elephant

Cat:" how old are u ??

Elephant:" 5 yrs...

Cat:" U luk big..

Elephant:" i m a COMPLAN BOY

Cat:" i m 20 yrs

Elephant:" But u luk small

Cat:" PONDS MIRACLE, BADHTI UMAR MANO THAM SI JAYE....

If You Are Not Happy Being Single

"If you are not happy being s¡ngle...
You will never be happy in a relationship."
LivE your own life 1st,
then try to SharE it wid sum1.

Dear Mark Zukerberg



Dear Mark Zukerberg,
Facebook Doesn't Work Properly these days


Finally Time aa gaya,
OLX pe bech de..

Girl To Friend

GIRL : I'm So Proud Of My Boyfriend

Friend : Why ??

GIRL : Because He Got Drunk & Didn't Recognize Me

Friend : Why Are You Proud Of That

GIRL : Because I Tried To Take Off His Shirt & He Said " HEY STOP ", I Have A Girlfriend

Today's Reality

Today's Reality :-

Big House
Small Family

More Degrees
Less Common Sense

Advanced Medicine
Poor Health

Touched Moon
Neighbours Unknown

High Income
Less peace of Mind

High IQ
Less Emotions

Good Knowledge
Less Wisdom

Number of affairs
No true love

Lot of friends on Facebook
No best friend

More alcohol
Less water

Lots of Human
Less Humanity

Costly Watches
But No time.

Dear Boys

DEAR BOYS

Ladkion ke Chakkar Mein Mat Padna
Dosto
Kyun ki
Ye Aati Hain HEER Ki Tarha
Lagti Hain KHEER Ki Tarha
Chubhti Hain TEER Ki Tarha
Or End Mein Haalat Kar Deti Hain FAKEER Ki Tarha..

Diwali Tips

Diwali Tips . . . .

Aapke gf/bf ke diye huye aur aapke chhupaye huye photos/love letters/gifts utha lo varna...

Ghar ki saaf-safayi karte samay aapki mummy ko wo sab mil sakta hai...

Aur

Uske baad aapke ghar mein diwali se pehle hi patakhe fut sakte hain.

Janhit mein jaari.

Engineering Student To a Girl

Engineering student to a girl-.

Student : Mere pass intelligence hai,
sense of humour hai,
tumhaare pass kya hai??

Girl : I am hot

Student : le toh phir yeh cigarette hi jala de is gareeb ki.

Wife Said During Karwachouth

Wife said during Karwachouth : chota mota hi sahi, par gold ka kuch la do.......

Husband
: "Ye le Choti gold flake"

Real Names of Bollywood Stars

Real names of Bollywood stars

Aamir Khan – Aamir Hussain Khan
Ajay Devgan – Vishal Devgan
Ajit – Hamid Ali Khan
Akshay Kumar – Rajiv Bhatia
Amitabh Bachchan – Amit Srivastav
Ashok Kumar – Kumud Ganguly
Bobby Deol – Vijay Singh Deol
Dev Anand – Devdutt Pishorimal Anand
Dharmendra – Dharam Singh Deol
Dilip Kumar – Yusuf Khan
Govinda – Govinda Arun Ahuja
Jeetendra – Ravi Kapoor
John Abraham – Farhan Abraham
Johnny Lever – Badruddin Qazi
Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar
Kumar Gaurav – Manoj Tulli
Lucky Ali – Maqsood Mehmood Ali
Madhubala – Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi
Mahima Chaudhry – Ritu Chaudhry
Mallika Sherawat – Reema Lamba
Manoj Kumar – Hare Krishna Goswami
Nana Patekar – Vishwanath Patekar
Raj Kumar – Kulbushan Pandit
Rajesh Khanna – Jatin Khanna
Rajnikant – Sivaji Rao Gaekwad
Rekha – Bhanurekha Ganesan
Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan
Sanjeev Kumar – Haribhai Jarivala
Shammi Kapoor – Shamsher Raj Kapoor
Shashi Kapoor – Balbirraj Kapoor
Sunil Dutt – Balraj Dutt
Sunny Deol – Ajay Singh Deol
Tuntun - Uma devi

Tragedy of Married Men

Tragedy of MARRIED Men...

Biwi jeene nahi deti

Aur

Karva Chauth ka vrat rakh rakh ke Marne bhi nahi deti....

Boy Insult Girl

Girl to her boyfriend: Is week roz movie dekhenge...
next week roz shopping karenge..

Boy: uske next week hum roz mandir jayenge

Girl: wo kyo???

Boy: bheek mangne..

News Channels

A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl!

He kicks the dog, it dies!

Newspapers report "LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM DOG"

Man says i'm not American

Report changed "Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"

Man says: Actually I'm Pakistani

Breaking News: "Terrorist killed Innocent Dog which was playing with a girl"

Aasaram To Dhoni

Dhoni: meri biwi ko bacchaa nai ho raha hai kya karu??

Viru: boost de.

Salmaan: revital de.

Dada: sona chandi chyawanprash de.

Aasaram- ek mauka muje bhi de..

ACP To Boy

ACP to Boy : To tum is Ladki K Boyfriend Ho…

hmmm

DAYA : What.!! Ye Aap Kya Keh Rahe Hain Sir…
ye Uss Ladki Ka boyfrnd hai…..??

ACP : Haan Daya haan ye wahi hai uss ladki Ka Boyfrnd..

Abhijeet : Oh My God.. sir iska Matlab Ye Ladki iski Girlfriend hai…

Kajal : yes Sir iska matlab ye Dono ek dusre Ko jaante hain or pyar karte hain..

Dad To Jyotishi

DAD: Jyotishi ji mujhe kaise pata chal sakta hai ki mera beta future mein kya banega ?

JYOTISHI: aap uske table pe Cigarette, Beer, Paiso ki Gaddi aur Books rakh do. Unme se jo wo uthaega wahi banega.

DAD: ok

Agle din Beta Aaya.
Table dekhi.
Paiso ki Gaddi uthake jeb mein rakhi,
Cigarette pi,
Beer chhupa li,
Aur Books hath mein leke ghar se chala gaya.

DAD: Us nalayak ne to sab kuchh le liya!

JYOTISHI: Sir Mubarak Ho !!
Aapka beta ENGINEER banega!

Prove that 2/10=2

Prove that 2/10=2

Japanese student : Wrong question.

Pakistani student : No Way.

American student : It's strange, how is it possible?

Indian Student solved it : Two / Ten = wo / en (T with T cancel)

w = 23rd letter & o = 15th letter

e = 5th letter & n = 14th letter

So, 23+15 / 5+14
= 38 / 19
= 2

Maths ka itihaas hila dala Indians ne..!

A Heart Touching Message by a Woman

A heart touching message by a woman...

Some one asked her.......
Are you a working woman or a house-wife ??

She replied : Yes I am a full time working house-wife.

I work 24 hours a day.....
I'm a "mum",
I'm a wife,
I'm a daughter,
I'm a daughter-in-law.....
I'm an Alarm clock,
I'm a Cook,
I'm a Maid,
I'm a Teacher,
I'm a waiter,
I'm a nanny,
I'm a nurse,
I'm a handyman,
I'm a Security officer,
I'm a Counsellor,
I'm a comforter,
I don't get holidays,
I don't get sick leave,
I don't get day off......
I work through day and night.....
I'm on call......
all hours and get paid with a sentence.....
"what do you do all day"

Respect Your Mother

Pappu Call to Radio Station

Pappu ne Live Radio Station call ki: Hello ji ye Radio station hai?

R.J: Haan.

Pappu: Meri aawaz pura shehar sun raha hai?

R.J: Haan

Pappu: Yaani ghar mein jo meri behan Radio sun rahi hai wo Bhi sun rahi hogi..???

R.J Ghusse se: Haaan..

Pappu: Hello Gullo! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi ho to jaldi se Motor chala do...!

Mein yahan ooper chhat par Bathroom mein hoon aur Paani khatam ho gaya hai...!!

Daaru Pee Ke Zindagi Diyan Problems

Daru pee ke zindagi diyan problems solve ni hundiyan,

but problems ta dudh pee ke v solve ni hundian.

so chakko glassy
burraaaaaaa........

Ek Ameer Ladki ko School Mein

Ek Ameer Ladki ko School mein “Gareeb Parivar” pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha Gaya..

Essay me usne Likha:
Ek Gareeb Parivar tha,
Pita Gareeb, Maa Gareeb, Bachche Gareeb.

Parivar mein 4 Naukar the, wo bhi Gareeb..

Car bhi Tooti hui SAFARI thi..

Unka Gareeb Driver Bachon ko Tooti Car mein School Chhod Ke Aata tha..

Bachon K paas Purane Samsung S3 Mobile the..

Bache Hafte mein 4 bar hi Chicken Khate the..

Ghar mein 4 hi 2nd Hand A.C. the..

Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se Aish Kar raha tha….!!

1 Handsome Boy Class Mein Aaya

1 Handsome Boy Class Mein Aaya….

Aur Saari Girls Dekhte Hi Deewani Ho gayi.

Fir Ladke Ne Aate Hi Kuch Kaha To Girls Behosh.

Socho Kya Kaha Hoga ??

Thodi Jagah Dena, behan ji Jhaadu Lagana hai.

“Berozgaari ki hadd hai!!”

Teacher To Student

Teacher at class: suno bachcho kal tum logo ka group photo shoot hoga,, .
Sab log apne apne ghar se Rs. 50/-le kr aana,,

Pappu: "saala ye sab teacher logo ki mili bhagat hoti hai,,
Ek photo ke 20/- rupye lagte hai aur hum logo se 50_50 rupye liye ja rahe hain..
Matlab ek bachche se 30/- Rupye bachayenge matlab akele apni class me 60 bachche hai to 60*30=1800 Rs. .
khuli Loot macha rakhi hai in logo ne,,

Fir hamare paiso se ye sab staff room mein baith k samosa khayenge aur hum
bachchon ko milega Ghanta,,.
Chal bhai tappu ghar chalte hai kal mummy se Rs. 50/- le k aana,,

Bhalai ka to zamaa nahi nahi reh gaya,,

Pappu to mom: "Mummy kal school mein group photo shoot hona hai teacher ne Rs. 100/- rupye mangaye hain.

Earthquake of 10.8 rscale Has Hit South America

Earthquake of 10.8 rscale has hit south america..

Tsunami of 200 meter recorded in japan..

volcanic eruptions in europe & America...

Thats what I am watching in the movie "2012"..

Teacher To Student

Teacher To Student: Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?

Student : A LECTURER is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.

5 Minutes

Punjab wich sabb to vadh bolya jaan wala word ..

Kithe aaa ?
Aaya bas 5 minute wich.

Kinna time lagna ?
bas 5 minute

Kinni ku door aaa ?
pahunch gaya bas 5 minute wich

No matter how far you are eh 5 min ni mukkde..

Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram

Raghupati Raghav raja Ram,

patit pavan Sita Ram,

Sita Ram Sita Ram,

Bhaj pyare tu Sitaram,

Ishwar Allah tero naam,

Saab ko Sanmti de Bhagavan

Happy Gandhi Jayanti....!!

Do You Feel Lazy

1.Do you feel lazy to get up early in the morning?

2.Does a book work as a sleeping pill?

3.Attend classes only for attendance? ...

4. see the calendar for holidays?

5.cell in place of a pen?

If all above is happening with u congratulations!

U r a perfect student.

So Dont Worry, Be Happy

Just chant the Mantra:- "Kal Se Pakka Padhunga

Earth Can Forget Rotation

Earth can forget rotation,

Bird can forget flying,

Candle can forget melting,

heart can forget beating,

but I will never forget u..........

BCZ I MISS U ALL TIME....

True Lines

Its very easy to say 'Busy'

when someone needs you..

But

Its very hard to hear 'Busy'

when you need someone.

Machli Jal ki Rani Hai

Machli jal ki rani hai,

NO NO something should be new

girl friend dil ki rani hai,
paisa us ka paani hai,
hath lagao to cillaayengi,
paisa nikalo pat jayengi..

GOD Are Also Engineers

GOD are Also Engineers:-

Bramha:- System Installer

Vishnu :- System Supporter

Shiva :- System Programmer

Narad :- Data Tranferer

YAMRAJ :- Deleter

& Interesting

"APSARA :- VIRUS"

What is Love ?

Love is when mom comes 2 at night and say, "I love u beta"

Love is when bhaabhi say, "oye hero koi ladki pataya k nai"

Love is when sister says, "bhai meri shaadi ke baad mujhse jhagda kon karega"

Love is when we are moodles and brother say, "chal kahi ghumne chalte hai"

Love is when frnds call us and say, "kamine tere bina dil nai lagta"
that's love...

Don't miss it in life
love is not only having girlfriend or boyfriend...

Is Saal Ek Aisa Waqt Aane Wala Hai

Is saal ek aisa waqt aane wala hai jo zindagi mein phir kabhi nahi aayega

Time 08: 09: 10
date 11- 12- 13
i hope we are the first one who told you...

Why Ambulance is White in Color

Question:" Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ?? (15 marks)

Answer by Engineering student
Ans:" AMBULANCE has OXYGEN cylinder,
Oxygen is a gas,
GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD,
FOOD is source of VITAMINS,
WE get Vit-D from SUN,
SUN produces LIGHT,
LIGHT comes from bulbs,
Small BULBS are used to decorate CHRISTMAS tree,
CHRISTMAS means GIFTS,
GIFTS are given by SANTA,
SANTA lives in NORTH POLE,
NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS,
POLAR BEARS are WHITE
That's why ambulance is WHITE...

ENGINEERS CAN DO ANYTHING FOR 15 MARKS..

Boy To Doctor

Boy to a Doctor: My gf is pregnant bt I used protection

Doctor: Ek Kahani Suno,
Ek Shikari ek din Gun ki jagah Umbrella le gaya,
Achanak Lion samne aaya to usne Umbrella ka handle khicha aur fire kiya,
Lion wahi mar gaya..

Boy: Ghantaa...!
Kissi aur ne goli mari hogi..

Doctor: Exactly!!

If Mallika Sherawat Plays Dropadi

If Mallika Sherawat plays Dropadi in Mahabharat..

Duryodhan will say... Dussashan, pehna do
bhabhi ko saari,
hum bhi to dekhen yeh vastron mein kaisi lagti hai...

Dukhan nu Bana ke Apna

Dukhan nu bana ke apnaa,

gal khushian di karda een,

vehrhe ch lava ke kikran,

hun kandeyan ton darda een......!

Interviewer To Applicant

Interviewer: There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane.
If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Applicant: That's easy, 49.

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died.
Why?

Applicant: Er....I guess she drowned?

Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the aeroplane.
You may leave now..

Mallika Sherawat to Naukar

Mallika Sherawat ko Mixer chalate dekh,

Naukar bola: Madam, aap juice bana rahi ho kya?

Mallika: Nahi re, 1-2 din ke hi kapde the, toh socha issi mein dho dalun!

Ek Village Mein Aaj Bhi

Ek village mein aaj bhi films ka advt. cycle rickshaw se announce hota hai..

Ek din kuch aisa announce ho raha tha..

Film ka naam - "bade ghar ki beti..."
"bade ghar ki beti ka mazaa lijiye,
din mein chaar baar,
9 se 12, 12 se 3, 3 se 6 aur raat 9 se 12.. baje tak...

Aage ka 20 rupaye, peeche ka 10 rupaye.."

Vanga nu Chanakno Varjeya na Kar Tu

Vanga nu chanakno varjeya na kar tu,

paira diyan addian te laya kahto karfyu,

jihdi beat tere nachne de mood nu,

50 ton 100 percent karde,

ohi gana dj te lavade sohniye,

jehda tere lakk ch current bharde.

Ladke Wale Ladki Walon Se

Ladke Wale: Ji ladki to hame pasand hai..

Bas ek aakhri sawal

ladki ne kabhi

Asaram Bapu se ASHIRWAD to nahi liya na??

Jis Vehde Vich Hoi Khed ke Jawaan

Jis vehde vich hoi khed ke jawaan ni maaye,

laado teri chadd ke lagi jaan ni maye,

babule da pyar te dulaar nahion bhulna,

rok le ni doli de na jaan ni maaye.

Dukhre Sunava Sham Sham Rovan Preetma

Dukhre sunava sham sham rovan preetma,

dard bura hai vichore da,

tijo pyar karda main meriye jinde,

saadi preet purani ae..

Girl To Dad

Girl: Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in UK.

We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, proposed to each other on skype,
and now we've had 2 months of relationship thru viber.

I need ur blessing and good wishes daddy...

Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun online.
Buy ur kids on e-bay, send them thru g-mail and if u r fed up with your husband...
Sell him on OLX....

Hawa Cho Mehkan

Hawa cho mehkan,

Paani cho nasha,

Khushi ch athru,

Te gam ch maza,

Dil fir dimag di manne na koi salah,

Aakhiyan hi sab kuj kehndian ne bull bilkul farkan na,

Odo jado pyar ho janda.

Sir te Pagri Tohar Hai Tagdi


Sir te pagri tohar hai tagdi,

Puri aakad bade dhamakad,

jigre saade sab to vaade,

saade agge koi na lagge,

maar maar ke badkan punjabi king aj jachange,

khali kar deo vehda Mr Singh aj nachange..

Quotes of Famous Persons

"I slept on benches and everyday borrowed 20Rs/- from friend to travel film city" - SRK

"I didn't even complete my university education" - Bill Gates !!

"I was raped at the age of 9 "- Oprah Winfrey

"I was sexually, mentally, emotionally and verbally abused by my father as far back as I can remember until I left home at the age of eighteen" - Joyce Meyer

"I struggled academically throughout elementary school" - Dr Ben Carson

"I used to serve tea at a shop to support my football training" - Lionel Messi

"I used to sleep on the floor in friends'
rooms, returning Coke bottles for food, money, and getting weekly free meals at a local temple" -Steve Jobs !!

"My teachers used to call me a failure" - Tony Blair

"I was in prison for 27 years"- Retired President Nelson Mandela

"Friends, there are many such people who struggled..

Life is not about what you couldn't do so far, it's about what you can still do"

Depression of a Single Boy

Koi mujh par emotional attyachar ka Loyalti test hi karwa Lo,

kam se kam 5 din k liye koi to milegi..

Teacher Is Lamp of Nation

Teacher Is Lamp Of Nation.

Teacher Only One Person Who Serve Society In Real Manner.

Salute All Teachers Of Nation.

Happy Teachers Day

Happy Teacher's Day

Happy teachers day to all my friends..

like teachers....

you have taught me so many things .....

Smoking.....drinking.....flirting.....swearing....etc etc...

HAR EK DOST TEACHER HOTA HAI !!

Mujhe To News Wali Aunty Se

Mujhe To News Wali Aunty Se Darr Lagta Hai.

Wo Kahti Hai,
Jo Sab Chhupate Hain,
Wo Hum Dikhate Hain.

Tauba-Tauba..

Husband To Saas

Husband apni saas se - aapki beti mein to hazaron kamiyan hain.

Saas - haan beta, isi vajah se to use achha ladka nahi mila...

FIRE ko AAG Kehte Hain

FIRE ko AAG kehte hain,

COBRA ko NAAG kahte hain,

GARDEN ko BAAG kahte hain,

Aur "EXAMS" ke samay jo kaam na kare,

Use ''DIMAG'' kahte Hain!

Pappu To Girlfriend

Girlfriend- Aapke bina mera ZEE nahi lagta...

Pappu- ZEE nahi lagta to isme kya hai pagal...

SONY ya STAR PLUS laga lo wo bhi achhe channel hai..

Pati To Patni

Patni : aapka dost galat ladki se shadi kar raha hai,
Aap usko rokenge nahi ?

Pati : kyun?
Main kyun roku?
Usne mujhe roka tha kya?

100% Toofani Joke

3 Dost Diwali Ke Baad Mile

1st: Mere Daddy 10,000 Ke Patake Laaye,
Humne 3 Ghante Tak Bajaye,

2nd: Mere Daddy 15,000 Ke Pataake Laaye Thhe,
Humne 4 Ghante Tak Bajaye,

3rd: Daddy Ghar Par Nahin Thhe...

Toh Mera Bhai 5000 Ka Sirf Ek Pataaka Laaya Aur Saari Raat Humne Baari-Baari Bajayaa..

Breaking News

Sonia out of danger..
Country continue to be in danger...

Food security bill passed.
"Food" for the Poor, "Security" for the congress and "Bill" for the tax payers.

Ek Din ek Garib ko

Ek din ek garib ko raste mein dus rupaye pade mile..
.
wo sochne laga iska kya khareeda jaye...

saara din usne ye sochne mein barbaad kar diya ki is 10 rupaye ka kya kare...

aur phir usne 10 rupaye phek diye aur kaha: "hey ishwar, is 10 rupaye ke karan aaj maine tujhe subah se yaad nahi kiya...

wo log tujhe kaise yaad karte honge phir jinke paas laakho rupaye hain.. ?

Kamyabi Kabhi Badi Nahi Hoti

Kamyabi kabhi badi nahi hoti,
Pane wale hamesha bade hote hain,

Darar kabhi badi nahi hoti,
Bharne wale hamesha bade hote hain,

Itihaas ke har panne par likha hai,
Dosti kabhi badi nahi hoti,
Nibhane wale hamesha bade hote hain…

Never Test Good People

Never test good people because they are like diamonds.

When you hit them, they will not break,

but they will only slip away from your life.

Happy Janmashtami To All


Happy Janamashtami to all my tiny biny loveable frnds.

Gopal krishan aap sab par apni basuri ke madhur raag se amrit varsha kare.

Aap sab ko ussi tarah aanadit kare jese wo gokul vasiyo ko kiya karte the.

Ye shubh avsar aap sab ko khushion ka aisa bhandaar dekar jaye ki ap saalo saal khushiya samete samete thak jaye par khushiya khatam na ho.

Boliye shri varindawan wasi banke bihari lal ki jai.

Happy Janmashtami to all of u...

Boy To Girl

Girl: i am fat.

Boy: No, u r not

Girl: Everybody ask me 2 lose my Weight

Boy: they r Jealous

Girl: U don't Know anything,

Boy: I Know U more than they do, they are blind

Girl: I think u are not them.

Boy: Babe, i have seen u dressed Super nice,
i have seen u in School Uniform,
i have Seen u with Sweat pants,
hair tied, chilling with no make up on,
I've Seen u Cry, Smile, loving in mad,
I've Seen U Sleeping, wide, hyper, awake, mellow,
U r always So Beautiful to me, always Perfect & U say
i don't See u Clearly?

Girl: Hugs love U

Boy: love u more..

Boy Gifted Pyaaj Ke Pakode To Girl

Girl: Mere Birthday Par Mujhe Bahut Costly Gift Dena

Boy: Ok..

On The Birthday

Boy: Your Gift..!

Girl: How Sweet Isme Kya Hai??

Boy: Petrol Mein Tale Hue Pyaaj Ke Pakode...!!

5 things we Learn From Chennai Express

1. There are many languages in our country (1635) but love has no language..

2. The best Way to escape from your Problems is to face them.

3. Nobody can ever understand a woman feelings.

4. Never underestimate the power of a Common man, they can do anything if they want.

5. Its good to be Important but its also Important to be good.

Husband and Wife in Market

Husband & Wife dono market gaye to Ek Ladki ne HELLO kiya....

Wife: " kaun thi wo ??.......

Husband: " Tum plz dimag kharab mat karo,....

abhi usko bhi batana hai ki tum kaun ho ??

Student To Teacher

Teacher -Tum bade hokar kya karoge?

Student - Shaadi.

Teacher - Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge.

Student - Dulha Banunga.

Teacher - Oh ho, I mean to say, bade hoker kya haasil karoge

Student - Dulhan.

Teacher- Abbe. matlab bade ho kar mumy papa k liye kya karoge.?

Student - Bahu launga.

Teacher - Haraamkhor.. Tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?

Student - Pota.

Teacher - Hey bhagwan. Abbe zindagi ka kya maksad hai.?

Student - "Hum do hamare do..

Watch Your Thoughts

Watch your thoughts;
they become words.

Watch your words;
they become your actions.

Watch your actions;
they become your habits.

Watch your habits;
they become character.

Watch your character;
it becomes your DESTINY.

Dear Sunday

Dear sunday...!!

Yu tera aana or aakar chale jaana...
Dilo ka hi toot jaana...
So yaar aaye ho to 2, 3 din baad hi ab jaana...
Bcos usne Kaha tha.. "Karti hu main to Pyar Sirf sunday ko..
Karta hu tera Intjaar Sirf sunday ko..

Madam to Nachattar Gill

Madam: Chal ve nachatraa ABC suna......

Nachattar: ABDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRS

Madam: ruk ja C ta tu keha hi nahi...
chall C keh k suna...

Nachattar: dukh Tu hazaraa hass-hass ke jarange...
see lavange ni bull par "C" na kahange.

Boy To Girl

Girl: I need Google in my brain and antivirus in my heart..

Boy: U should add 1 more thing..

Girl : What??

Boy: Photoshop on your face.

Happy Rakhi

For every girl n women Before you tie a Rakhi on your brother's hand also ensure he promises he will respect other women who could be someone else's sis or mom.

HAPPY RAKHI

PAST is a Waste Paper

PAST is a waste paper,

PRESENT is a news paper,

FUTURE is a question paper,

so, Read Write Carefully.

Otherwise LIFE will be TISSUE PAPER !

Always Be Yourself

Always be yourself,

express yourself,

have faith in yourself,

do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it."

God To Student

God: "beta, koi mannat maango..??"

Student: "Plz Mujhe Meri School Life Lauta Do..."

God: "Beta, Maine Tumhe mannat Mangne Ko kaha hai "JANNAT" Nahi.. "

school days are awesome so enjoy it...

Cyber Cafe Mein Jaake SSC ka Form Bhara

Cyber Cafe mein jaake SSC ka form bhara,
fir SBI mein fees submit karke Part 2 ko bhi pura kara,
fir 2 months k baad roll number aaya,
written exam mein paas hone ke liye pura zor lagaya,
par jab result aaya toh sab ka call letter aaya,
hey prabhu sab ka number aaya par mera kyun na aaya...

LADKI Aur SMS mein kya Similarity Hai

LADKI Aur SMS mein kya Similarity Hai.. ??
.

Jab Tak UPER Se NEECHE Tak Pura DEKH Na Lo CHAIN Nahi Milta...

Aao Jhuk Kar Salaam Karein Unko


Aao jhuk kar salaam karein unko,

jinke hisse mein ye mukaam aata hai,

khushnasib hota hai wo khoon,

jo desh ke kaam aata hai.

Azaadi diwas ki sab ko hardik badhai ho..

Happy Independence Day...

Har Ladka Pyar Mazak Mein Shuru Karta Hai

Har Ladka Pyar Mazak Mein Shuru Karta Hai Aur Ladki Seriously

Par

Baad mein ladka serious Ho Jata Hai

Aur

Ladki Pyar Ka Majak Bana Deti Hai.

Interesting Things About 2013

Interesting things about 2013

4/4/2013 Thursday
6/6/2013 Thursday
8/8/2013 Thursday
10/10/2013 Thursday
12/12/2013 Thursday

Isn't It Amazing....

Boyfriend to Girlfriend

Boyfriend to Girlfriend :
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai ki,
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai ki
"Jab tu 10:30 pm baje so jaati hai,
toh tera whats app last seen at 3:30 am kyu dikhata hai". ???

A Girl Puts Her Status

A Girl Puts Her Status : "Waiting for CHENNAI EXPRESS"
.
.
My comment : "COOLIE Hai Kya" ???

*Blocked*

Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe

Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe,

Wo teri yaad mein,

Saary Padh liye Papa ne raat mein,

Sawera Jab hua , toh Jhoote Pad gaye,

Wo FANAA wale Baal GHAJNI mein badal gaye..

Different Technologies & Their Founders

Different Technologies & Their Founders.......

1. Google: Larry Page & Sergey Brin
2. Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg
3. Yahoo: David Filo & Jerry Yang
4. Twitter: Jack Dorsey & Dick Costolo
5. Internet: Tim Berners Lee
6. Linkedin: Reid Hoffman, Allen Blue &
Koonstantin Guericke
7. Email: Shiva Ayyadurai
8. Gtalk: Richard Wah kan
9. Whats app: Laurel Kirtz
10. Hotmail: Sabeer Bhatia
11. Orkut: Buyukkokten
12. Wikipedia: Jimmy Wales
13. You tube: Steve Chen, Chad Hurley & Jawed Karim
14. Rediffmail: Ajit Balakrishnan
15. Nimbuzz: Martin Smink & Evert Jaap Lugt
16. Myspace: Chris Dewolfe &Tom Anderson
17. Ibibo: Ashish Kashyap
18. OLX: Alec Oxenford & Fabrice Grinda
19. Skype: Niklas Zennstrom, Janus Friis & Reid Hoffman
20. Opera: Jon Stephenson von Tetzchner & Geir lvarsoy
21. Mozilla Firefox: Dave Hyatt & Blake Ross
22. Blogger: Evan Willams

Mil Gaya Kamina

Mil gya kamina

"HENRY MISHEL-AMERICAN"
was the fist person who started the "EXAMS"

Forward to all students..
kaminey ne zindagi ka maza kharab kar diya...

Asin Kadi Bhejiye j Msg Pyar Da

Asin kadi bhejiye j msg pyar da....

jhat deni Akh dindi LoL......

kamliye kade ta punjabi vich bol

Ni kamliye sanu ki pata ki hunda LOL

Bhagwan Ne Mujhse Kaha

Bhagwan ne mujhse kaha ki Tu apna 1 pyara dost chhod de main tujhe "mobile" dunga..

2 ko chhod de to "Rolex" ki ghadi dunga..

5 ko chhod de "25 lakh Rupaiya" dunga..

Aur Sabhi dosto ko chhod de to "Ferrari" dunga..

Maine Bhagwan ko dekha aur kaha ki,
Hey Bhagwan..!!!
Ye dost wo hai jinhone meri har khushi har gam mein saath diya..

Mere bachpan se lekar aaj tak mere saath rahe..
Kabhi main roya to apne hatho se mere ansu pochhe..
Ek glass pani bhi piya to bhi mere sath share kiya..
Meri ek awaz par daude chale aaye..
Aur aap kehte ho ki main ek"FERRARI" ke liye inhe chhod du..???

KHAIR, Koi baat nahi..

Lekin "FERRARI" Red color ki hi dena..

AMIE Aspirants

AMIE Aspirants have a great amount of patience,
always wait for results,
not getting application forms timely,
suffering from recognition issue tuff exams,
less time for preparation,
IE India rocks
and students always shocks...

Friendship is a Silent Gift of Nature

Friendship is a silent gift of nature..
More old .. more strong..
More deep.. more clear..
More close.. more warm..
Less words.. more understanding..!!

Na Jane Kab Fir Se Ye Manjar Suhana Milega

Na Jane Kab Fir Se Ye Manjar Suhana Milega,

Ye Khil Khilati Hansi Or Doston Ka Yarana Milega,

Kaid Kar Lo In Khubsurat Lamho Ko Apni Yadon Mein Yaaro,

Inhi Yaadon Se Hamein Zindagi Mein Rote Hue Bhi Hasne Ka Bahana Milega.

Happy Friendship Day.

Why Husbands Avoid Questions

WIFE: What would you do if i died?
Would you get married again?
Husband: No...
Wife- Why not?
Don't you like being married?
Husband: of course i do.
Wife: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Husband: ok, ok, i'd get married again...
Wife: Would you live in our house with your new Wife...?
Husband: Yes, it's a great house.
Wife: Would you let her drive my car ?
Husband: Yes, its almost new, dear.
Wife: Would you give her my jewelry?
Husband: No..
I am sure she would want her own..
Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?
Husband: No, her size is '5'
Wife: --silence-
Husband: 'shiiit'...!!!

Shehar Ludhiana

Sheharan vichon Shehar Sunida Shehar Sunida "Ludhiana"...
Jithe de Shaukeen munde dekhlo...
Rakhde Luxury "Caran"..
"Khalsa College" di Gedi Laaunde Jithe Pardiyan "Sohniyan Mutiyaaran"...
"Sarabha Nagar Market" vich Kathe hoke ...
Lutde "maauj baharan"....
"Mall Road" Ton Shopping Karde..
Jithe milde Brand Hazaran...
"Facebook te Boliyan Paaunda Tuhada apna yaar marjana
Ehi hai mera Shehar yaaro..
Jida Naam "Ludhiana"

Bina Boyfriend Wali Dulhan

1970: Dulha Dahej Mein Sasurji se radio Mangta Tha..

1980: Cycle..

1990: motor cycle

2000: Car..

2013: Bas Bina Boyfrnd wali dulhan de DO..
Baaki main kama lunga..

Jab Tum Kisi ko Khuda se Maango

Jab tum kisi ko khuda se mango or wo tum ko na mile to

samjh jao ki tumhe khuda se koi or maang chuka hai

Isse kya hai na bezzati kam feel hoti hai..

Traffic Police To Boy

Traffic police wala chalan book nikal ke bola: "naam bol.. ??

Ladka bola: "trikulavatt thekkeparambli swami".

Police wala (chalan book bandkarke): "Agli baar gaadi dheere chalana...

Remember Those 500 Words Essay in Exams

Remember those 500 words essay in exams,

some kids wrote 300 words of nonsense just to fill up the space?

Those kids, today are in Engineering Colleges!

For all Employees Must Read

All of you who have seen the movie "A Wednesday"..
will love these rephrased Naseerudin Shah Dialogue’s...

Manager:- Kaun ho tum..??? Kya pehchan hai tumhari ?

Unknown Employee: Kaun hoon main..!!!
Mein woh hu jo aaj committment karne se darta hai,
Main woh hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta hai, Yeh soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchaan ne se inkar na kar de...
Main woh hoon jo, Aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se naa nikal de..
Main woh hoon jiski biwi use roz 10 bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
Mera haal poochhne ke liye ya kaam poochhne ke liye nahi,.. Balki woh yeh jaananaa chahti hai ki... Mein field mein kaam kar raha hun ya pressure mein aakar kahin baithkar daru pee rahahun...
Main woh hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. woh bhi time mil jaye to...
Main woh hoon jo aksar phasta hain.. Kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mein phasta hai , Kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mein phasta hai, kabhi boss ke bawaal mein fasta hai.
Walk-In interview ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne... Uss bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. Main woh hoon..
I'm the….. JUST A STUPID EMPLOYEE.

Teacher To Student

Teacher: Bus Ke Driver Aur Conductor Mein Kya Fark Hai ??

Student: Conductor Soya To Kisi Ka Ticket Nahi Katega..
& Driver Soya To Sabka Ticket Kat Jayega...

Zeenat Aman To Firoz Khan

Bikini pahenke Zeenat Aman sings : Kya dekhte ho

Firoz Khan : Surat tumhari

Pappu To Gf Dad

Pappu to his gf dad- uncle g. Yaar menu tuhadi kudi da hath chahida.

Dad gusse ch- na main saleya kudian de spare part vechda?

Husband To Wife

Husband :- " Kamar Mein Bahut Dard Hai..
Baaju Ke Ghar Se IODEX Le Aao..

Wife :- "Wo Nahi Denge...

Husband :- "Kitne Kanjoos Hain Saale,
Jaane Do, Apna Hi Nikal Lo,
Almaari Mein Rakha Hai.

Teacher To Student

Its a Killer...
Superblesson in Hindi:

Teacher : Prasang sahit vyakhya karo - "Bheegay hoth tere, pyasa dil ye mera"

Student : Yeh line bollywod ke prasidh kavi Sant Shri Emran Hashmi ji ki rachna 'Murder' ki prasidh kavita "Bhige hoth tere" se li gayi hai. Is kavita mein kavi jab bhi devi Malika ko nirvastra nachte hue dekhtey hai to unka sabar toot jata hai aur woh kehte hain, hey devi jis tarha tumharey hothon ke andar ka jal tumhari pyas bhuja raha hai, usi tarha mai bhi usi jal se apni pyas bhujana chahta hu. In lines se humko kavi ke kamine evam ashlil hone ka ehsas hota hai. Kavi ke bhaav saral evam spasht roop se tharqii hai. Unhone bahut kathor bhavo ko badi saralta se apni rachna mein dikhaya hai. .

Teacher fainted!!!!

Which Country in the World Has Largest english Speaking People

Which country in the world has largest english speaking people?

Ans: Daytime - USA

LATE EVENING,
After 3 pegs - INDIA

Oh Kehndi Ke Jiniya Mere Kol NAIL PAINT

Oh Kehndi Ke Jiniya Mere
Kol "NAIL PAINT" Va Ohne Tere Kol Kapde Ni Hone ,,,,,,

Main Keha Kudiye Jinne mere YAAR Aa Ohne Tere "RISHTEDAAR" Ni Hone.....

Biwi To Pati

Biwi :- Mere khayal se hamari beti ki kisi ladke ke saath setting ho gai hai..

Pati- wo kese?

Biwi - Q ki vo kafi dino se recharge ke paise nahi maang rahi hai.

Engineering Students ka Dard

Engineering students ka dard..

Wo ye bol kar humein chhod gaye dosto..

Tumhare to EXAMS hi khatm nahi hote,
tum pyar kya Ghanta kroge...

Jinn To Man

Aaj mujhe raste mein jinn mila

Jinn: Kya hukum mere aaka...???
.
Man : Meri taraf se Engineering exams tum de do..
.
Jinn: Aaka...! Hukum karo, bakchodi nahi..

Dear Human

Dear Human, '
''
U get mad when i wake u up
'
& u also get mad when i dont wake u
'
Chahta kya hai bhai tu?
'
Yours Sincerely, Confused Alarm.

Bhag Milkha Bhag

Bhag Milkha Bhag is an inspirational movie for this generation,
.
and especially because Petrol Prices are rising every month.

Ik Sohni ji Kudi ne Methon Raah Puchyaa

ik sohni ji kudi ne methon raah puchyaa.
puchya v oney iko saah puchyaa,
menu taan disse g bus phull girdey.
menu ki ptaa g oney kyaa puchyaa.
dekdi rahi naa moohon bol futyaa,
fer sabar odey da gya ban tutyaa.
ghoori jahi vat oho gaanh nang gai,
jaandi ohi kehgi jaaa-2 luchyaaa.

Delhi Metro

Delhi Metro =
Hugging.
Kissing.
Smooching.

Mumbai Metro =
"Ticha mayla dhakka kaun mara re!"
"Bhau mala jau dya na.."
"Line kayko toda, abhi aise hi khada reh"
"Gate block kar Borivali aa gaya!"

Jadon Naal Tuitions Parda c

Jdon Naal Tuitions Parda c,
Ni Mere Utte Odon Da Marda c,
Mere Pichhe Gediyan Laundaa c,
Ptaa Labh Liya Mere Ghar Da c,
Hunn Jmaaa Sirre Da Velly Ai,
Saara Pind Ehh Gal Jaan-da,
Main Geet Puraane Sun-Di Aan,
Ni Jatt Fan Hai 'Babbu Mann' Da.

Main Kardiyaan Pyar Te Oh Makhhol Jannda Hai

Main Kardiyaan Pyar Te Oh Makhhol Jannda Hai,
Parr Mere Dil Diyaan Gallaan Nu Hunn Konn Jannda Hai,
Karda Hai Pyar Ohvii Parr Jatonda Nhi Menu,
Bas Likh'Likh Sheyar Mere Lyi Oh Gaunn Jan'da Hai.

Wo Ban Sanwar Kar Chale Hain Ghar se

Wo ban sanwar kar chale hain ghar se.....
Hai khoye khoye se bekhabar se.....
Dupatta dhalka hua hai sir se.....
Khuda bachaaye buri nazar se....

1 Engineer ke 6 Month Baby ka Birthday

1 Engineer ne apne 6 month baby ki birthday party rakhi thi

Kisine pucha: 6 month baby ka b'day kaise?

Engineer: hum semester pattern follow karte hain.

Kon Kehta Hai Ki Khamosiyan

Kon Kehta Hai Ki Khamosiyan Khamosh Hoti Hain?
Kabhi Khamoshiyon Ko Khamoshi-Se Suno,
Shayad Khamoshiyan Wo Keh De Jinki Lafzo Mein Talash Hoti Hai...

Life of an Engineering Student

Life of an Engineering student-

Ist year- Itni ragging, ye formals aur 75% attendance! Is college se acha toh koi aur college hi mil jata!

IInd year- Na koi gf hai, na koi aur aish. 4 saal ki engineering 2 saal ki kar deni chahiye. Kya ghanta college life hai yaar.

IIIrd year- Arey yaar acha package bhi nahi milega. CAT ya GATE he dena pagega. I hate my college.
IVth year- Itni jaldi 4 saal nikal gae. Ab in dosto ke binakahan mazaa aaega! College life se jyaada aish aur kahanhogi yar.

P.S- Dedicated to all those who have gone through the ups and down of engineering life. Hope you can relate to it.

New Joined in Office

New joined in office...
Me: Hi
She: Hi
Me: How are you doing? You looking great!
She: I am fine. Thanks!
Me: What's your name?
She: ZOYA
Me: Oh ZOYA!!!....Ummmm... I have a meeting. Bye!
She: Suddenly!!
Me: yeah I have seen Jannat, Ishqazaade and Ranjhana!!!

Bhookh Roti ki Thi Pyaas Paani ki Thi

Bhookh roti ki thi Pyaas paani ki thi...
Baat yeh ab Kisson Kahaani ki thi,
Ab bache hain kahaan dastoor-e-jahaan...
bhookh Jismaani thi pyaas javaani ki thi,
Jo ik jodaa chalaa tha safar ke liye...
woh toh chala tha apne ghar ke liye,
Daur-e-safar mein yun khatra bhadaa...
Jode ke gird tha Giddhon ka jhund khadaa,
Giddhon ne nochaa koyal ko yun...
Jism se uske behne laga tha khoon,
Koyal pe tooti hawas ki ghadhi...
Thi uske liye woh badi kafas ki ghadi,
Koyal tadap se chillayi thi...
Yeh aawaz kyun na unhe sunaayi di,
Main kaise kahun ki woh insaan the...
Koyal ke daaman pe toh nishaan the,
Nishbat-e-abaroo woh loota kiye...
Khwaab koyal ke ik ik toota kiye,
Shab ki khamoshi mein ik awaaz thi...
Sadak pe padi koyal ik zinda laash thi,
Aaj utre hain naqaab insaani chehre se...
Hue Dil bhi aur Rooh bhi azaad insaani pahre se,
Aakhir bhookh ko mil hi gayi fatah...
Rooh haari Jism haara...
Giddhon ko bhi mila sukoon...
Koyal ko Beraham maara...
Beraham maara.

The World Feels so Beautiful

The world feels so beautiful,

The skies look more blue,

The sun shines brighter,

And its all bcoz of you!

Me Watching TV Alone

Me watching TV alone.!!
.
Ads: Cycle Agarbatti, Maggi, Noodles, Ultratech Cement, etc etc
.
Suddenly Parents enter.!!
.
Ads: Manforce Condoms, Whisper, Choice, Set Wet very very sexy etc etc.

Awesome Lines

Awesome lines ..

Gareeb Dur tak chalta hai. . .
Khana khane ke liye. . . .
Ameer meelo chalta hai Khana pachane ke liye. . .
Kisi ke paas khane ke liye ek waqt ki roti nahi hai. . . .
Kisi ke paas roti khane ke liye Waqt hi nahi hai. .
Koi lachaar hai isi liye beemar hai. . .
Koi beemar hai isi liye lachaar hai. . .
Koi apno ke liye roti chod deta hai. . .
Koi roti ke liye apno ko chod deta hai
Ye duniya bhi kitni nirali hai.
Kabhi waqt mile to sochna. . . .
Kabhi choti si chot lagne pe rote the,
aaj dil tut jaane pe bhi sambhal jate hai!
Pehle hum dosto k sath rehte the,
aaj dosto ki yaadon me rehte hai!
Pehle ladna manana roz ka kam tha,
aaj ek bar ladte hain to rishte kho jate hai.
Sach mein zindagi ne bahut kuch sikha dia,
jane kab humko itna bada bana diya. . .

Wife Insult Husband

Wife: Har Haftay Tum Fishing Ke Liye Jate Ho Naa.?
Husband: Haan, Haan. Toh.?
Wife: Haramzade Aaj Woh Machhli Aayi Thi,
Keh Rahi Thi Ki Woh Maa Banne Wali Hai....

Players Donated Money for Uttrakhand Victims

SRK DONATED 10 CRORE RS IN UTTRAKHAND VICTIMS....!!
SACHIN DONATED 51 LAKHS
KOHLI DONATED 18 LAKHS
YUVI DONATED 23 LAKHS
BHAJI DONATED 10 LAKHS
DHONI DONATED 75 LAKHS
DHAWAN DONATED HIS MAN OF THE TOURNAMENT AWARD.

Dollar Has Increased to Rs. 60

Dollar has increased to Rs. 60
Milk has increased to Rs.40/Liter
Petrol has increased to Rs. 72/Liter.
Thank God, Passing Marks are still 40.

Raanjhana Movie

After Watching RAANJHANA ,
.
Main Is Conclusion Per Aaya Hoon Ki,
.
"Zoya Naam Ki Ladki Se Jis Kisi Ne Bhi Pyaar Kiya,
Wo Kutte Ki Maut Mara..!!"
.
Example:
.
JANNAT,
ISHAQZAADE
& Now RAANJHANA..!!

Saari Raat Unka Number Hum Milaate Rahe

Saari raat unka number hum milaate rahe,
Customer care wali aunty kehti sajan apke kisi aur ke sath busy hai,
Hum re-dial pe re-dial dabaate rahe,
Raat se subah hone ko aa gai,
Subah jab hui unse mulakat,
iljam ek duje par lagaate rahe,
Gusse mein call register check kiya to pata chala,
Ke Hum unko aur vo humein ek hi time pe no. milaate rahe.

Sir Jadeja Jersey No.

1St Match : India won by 26 runs against SA (2+6=8)

2nd Match: India won by 8 wickets against WI

3rd Match: India won by 8 wickets against PAK

Semis: India won by 8 wickets against SL
8 Includes in every Win, You know why bCoz
.
8 is Jersey no. of Sir jadeja
.
final is on 23-6-2013....
2+3+6+2+0+1+3=17 , 1+7=8
Sir everywhere _/\_

After Watching Trailor of Ranjhanaa

After watching Trailor of movie "Ranjhanaa" I think,
Whenever Dhanush appears in the movie, they should display

"This is the Hero of the movie" message on the screen !!

Never Reject 3 People

NEVER reject 3 people
LEO SCORPIO AQUARIUS They are true, loving and honest friends...!

NEVER believe in 3 people
LIBRA ARIES GEMINI They are the most selfish & mean

NEVER lose 3 people
TAURUS CANCER CAPRICORN They are the most sincere n true lovers...!

NEVER leave 3 people
VIRGO PISCES SAGITTARIUS They can keep secrets, friendship, they can never see ur tears...!

What's Yours

Dil Se Chaho To Saza Dete Hai Log

Dil Se Chaho To Saza Dete Hai Log....
Sache Jazbat Ko Bhi Thukra Dete Hai Log....
Kon Hone Deta hai Do Dilo Ka milaan......
Pas-Pas Bethe Do Prindo Ko Bhi Uda Dete Hai Log....

Ikk Sikh Dharam hi Eda da Hai

Ikk Sikh Dharam hi eda da hai,
Jithe koi v kado v aa skda hai,

Non Muslim Mecca wich ni jaa skde,

Hindu Women kuch Mandira ch ni Allowed Like in Shabrimala Temple ,

kayi eda diyan v Churches ne jithe Non Chirstians ni jaa skde !

Proud to be a member of Sikh Religion which in true sense Universal and Pluralistic which preaches Universal peace, brotherhood and love between the entire human kind.

We Say Dhawan They Say Jamshed

We Say Dhawan They Say Jamshed,
We Say Raina They Say Farhat,
We Say Dhoni They Say Afridi,
We Say Karthik They Say Hafeez,
We Say Rohit They Say Shafiq,
We Say Jaddu They Say Malik,
We Say Ashwin They Say Ajmal,
We Say Yadav They Say Junaid,
We Say Bhuvi They Say Wahab,
We Say Ishant They Say Irfan,
But When We say Sachin They Change The Topic.

Please Read Slowly

PLEASE READ SLOWLY.
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT:
If you have Food in your fridge,
Clothes on your body,
A roof over your head and
A place 2 sleep,
U r richer than 75% of the entire world.
If you have money in your wallet,
A little change and Can go anywhere you want
U are among the top 18% of the worlds wealthy people.
If you alive today with more health than illness,
U are more blessed than the million people
who will not survive this week and die.
If you can actually 'READ' this message
and understand it,
U are more fortunate than the 3 billion people in the world
who Cannot see Cannot read Or suffer mental retardation.
Life is not about complaining pain and sorrows.
It's about a thousand other reasons to Thank our Creator!!!
Hit LIKE & SHARE
and
write, "THANK YOU GOD" to claim this.

Baldi Agg ne Puchea Tatti Tavi Kolo

Baldi agg ne puchea tatti tavi kolo,
ena seak o kive jar gaye C,
Tati tavi ne kiha - main ki dasa Satguru "Arjan Dev ji" ta meinu v thandi kar gaye C.
Dhan Shri Guru Arjan dev ji.
Kot kot parnaam.

Delhi te Punjab Vich Fark

Delhi te Punjab vich fark,
Garmiyan ch jadd paani di bhut lorh hundi ta,
Delhi ch vapari paani mehnge mull te vechana shuru kar dinde ne,
te Punjab ch Shabeela shuru ho jandian ne...__

J kite bhuchaal ya toofaan aa jave ta laale kamaai karn lai ration mehnga kar dinde ne,
par Punjab ch Langar laa dinde ne...!!

Huuurrrrrrrr ... proud to be a Punjabi ... !!

Yaad Mein Teri Aahe Bharta Hai Koi

Yaad mein teri aahe bharta hai koi,

Har saans k saath tujhe yaad karta hai koi,

Maut to sachai hai aani hai,

Lekin teri judai mein har roz marta hai koi….

Kuch Log Pyar Karte Hain Nibhane Ke Liye,

Kuch Log Pyar Karte Hain BhuL Jane Ke Liye,

Pyar Karo To Aisa Karo Ke,

Dono Tadpe Ek Dusre Ke Paas Aane Ke Liye..

Kudi Dil di Saaf Honi Chahidi aa

kudi dil di saaf honi chahidi aa ..
lovely ta university v aa

kudi healthy honi chahidi aa ..
patla ta nokia vala charger v hunda

bande kol manja hona chahida ..
pawa ta jassi jasraj v chukki firda

bande kol kameez honi chahidi ..
banyan ta honey singh v payi firda

Girlfriend passionate honi chahiye...
Caring toh nurse b hoti hai! .

Ladki andar se achi honi chahiye.....
bahari nikhar to fair n lovely bhi deti hai

Wife ek best frnd jaisi honi chahiye...
life companion toh s4 bhi hota hain

Ladka sensitive hona chahiye
emotions toh whats app main bhi hai

Ladki Mein Attitude hona chaiye..
Angry Toh Aaj kal birds bhi hote hai

Air condition cooling dena chahiye.......
hava tho lays ke packet mein bhi hoti hai

Cable ho toh tata sky jaisa
Dish toh har ghar k kitchen mein hote he

Aadmi ko limit mein rehna chahiye....
unlimited toh mera data plan bhi hai

Cement to pure honi chahiye
strong to apni dosti bhi hai .

Zindagi suljhi hui honi chahiye..
Uljhe hue toh baal bhi hai !! . .

Ladki sweeet honi chaiye
tikhi toh ramdev ki mirchi bhi hoti hain

Ladka smart hona chahiye,
ameer to Mukesh Ambani ka beta bhi hai

Ladki mein sense of humor hona chahiye
SUSHIL toh SHINDE bhi hai

Ladki asli mein ladki honi chahiye,
Mahela toh jaywardane bhi hai

Baal Strong hone chahiye,
Shiny toh Ahuja bhi hai

Ladkiya hamesha khush honi chahiye
kyuki rotlu toh shreeshanth bhi hai

Bachha ek hi paida hona chaiye...
twins toh tower bhi hai

Exams mein fail hona chaiye..
pass to train ka bhi hai

Insaan mein atma sanman hona chahie,
jaan to aaj kal cement mein bhi hai.

Kisi ki Muskuraahato pe ho Nisaar

Kisi ki muskuraahato pe ho nisaar,
Kisi ka gham mil sake to le udhaar,
Kisi ke vaaste ho tere dil me pyaar,
Jeena isi ka naam hai..

Meaning of Punjab

Meaning of PUNJAB:
.
P- Petrol 70.34
U- Unemployee people
N- No jobs
J- Janta preshan
A- Amli youngsters
B- BIJLI band
.
Eh hi hai Apna Punjab..!.

Jad Dukh hi Likhe Rabb ne Zindagi ch

Jad dukh hi likhe rabb ne zindagi ch,
Kyu khushiyan wall nu bhajda haan main,
Avdi maadi kismat te kyu ronda haan main,
Bin parshave to kive turda haan main,
Eh sab chalda rehna kamleya,
avein sach das k ki khatt da haan main.

Khuda Kare Zindagi Mein ye Mukaam Aaye

Khuda kare zindagi mein ye mukaam aaye...

Jab bhulne ki dua karu,

to dua mein tera naam aaye...

Nazar ko Nazar ki Khabar na Lage

Nazar ko nazar ki khabar na lage,
Koi accha bhi is kadar na lage,
Aapko dekha hai bas us nazar se,
Jis nazar se aapko nazar na lage!

Ek Jurm Hua Hai Hum Se

Ek Jurm Hua Hai Hum Se,,
"Ek Yaar Bana Baithe Hain,,
"Kuch Apna Usko Samajh Kar,,
"Sab Raaz Bata Baithe Hain,,
"Phir Uski Pyar Ki Raah Main,,
"Dil-O-Jaan Gawa Baithe Hain,,
"Woh Yaad Bohat Aate Hain,,
"Jo Hum Ko Bhula Baithe Hain..

Nature of Punjab Cities People

ludhiana ---> Sab to jyada hifi pplz
jalandhar . --->Sabb to jyada n.r.i
chandigarhiye-- ­ ­-> Sab to jyada shokeeni chandigarh hi aa
ambersariye---> ­ ­Sab to jyada dyaalu te daani
bathinda ---> Sab to jyda ankhi
barnale ---> jine paapi nai
Firozpur ---> jinni" dhup" nhi
Hoshiarpur---> jinne "rukh" nahi ­ ­.
Patiale ---> jini sardari ni
Sangrur ---> jinna"pyaar nii
Mohali ---> jehi "naar" nhi
Muktsar ---> jini yaari ni
Moga----->moge wale sirre de velly ne..

Barack Obama on Sachin Tendulkar

Barack Obama on Sachin Tendulkar-
I don't know about cricket but still i watch cricket to see Sachin play not bcoz I love his play,
its bcoz I want to know the reason why my country's production goes down by 5 percent when he's in batting..

Chall Challiye Us Thaan Sajjna

Chall Challiye Us Thaan Sajjna,
Jithe IshQ Di Howe Shhaan Sajjna,
Saare Lok Hon Jithe Praye Jehe,
Na Jaane Koi Apna Naa Sajjna.

Yaari Yaari Har Koi Kehnda

yaari yaari har koi kehnda aukhi mushkil yaari,
dekho chand sooraj di charde vaaro vaari,
yaari dekho heer ranjhe di uddhi fire khumaari,
aaj de jamane di char dina di yaari.......... .!

Ashiqui 2 Mein

Ashiqui 2 mein Ladki Jitni samjhdaar dikhaai hai
.
.
Real Life mein 10% bhi utni samjhdaar or supportive ho to Duniya sudhar jaaye..

Vicky Donor

Paisa kamaana sirf Daayein ya Baayein hath ka khel hai..
.
.
Example : Vicky Donor.

Na Tujhe Chor Sakte Hain

Na tujhe Chor sakte hai Tere ho bhi nahi Sakte,
Yeh Kaisi Bebasi hai aaj hum ro bhi nahi sakte,
Yeh Kesa Dard hai Pal-Pal Hamme Tarpaye Rakhti Hai,
Tumhari Yaad aati hai toh phir so bhi nahi Sakte,
Na Chupa Sakte hai aur na hi Dikha Sakte hai logo Ko,
Kuch aisa daag hai dil par jo mitaa bhi nahi sakte.

Dil Di Basti Saari Umar Abaad Rahe

Dil Di Basti Saari Umar Abaad Rahe,
Pyar Hamesha Saada Jindabaad Rahe,
Soh Rab Di Main Kade Tuhanu Nahi Bhulda,
Tuhanu Vi Eh Nacheez Hamesha Yaad Rahe...!!

Jisne Kabhi Chahto Ka Paigam Likha Tha

Jisne Kabhi Chahto Ka Paigam Likha Tha,
Usne Apna Sab Kuch Mere Nam Likha Tha,
Aaj Use Mere zikar Se bhi Nafrat Hai,
Jisne Kabhi Hatheli Par Mera Nam Likha Tha..

Kuch Sochte Hain Aur Kuch ho Jata Hai

Kuch sochte hain aur kuch ho jata hai...
Jo chahte hain wo kho jata hai....
Milte hain yaar nasib se...
Nahi to zindagi mein kuch yaha aur waha ho jata hai...

Tum Kya Jano Kya Hai Tanhai

Tum kya jano kya hai tanhai,
ek tute hue patte se puchho kya hai judai,
bewafai ka ilzam na do hamein,
is waqt se puchlo ke kis waqt tumhari yaad na aayi...!

Baba Banda Singh Bahadar di Sarhand Fateh

Sab nu Baba Banda Singh Bahadar di sarhind fateh diyan lakh lakh mubarkaan.

Aj de din Baba Banda Singh Bahadar ne Sarhind te jit payi c.

We Live in a Nation

We live in a nation where singing against Rapes, Corruptions, Scams and Murders is an outrage;
but walking out when our National Song is being played is a trivial act!

Sweet Ans by Child in School

Sweet Ans by Child in School
.
Teacher: "What is your mother’s name.. ??
.
Kid: "Kabhi naam nahi puchha,
.
Bas pyar se MAA kehta hu..

Beautiful lines by Guru Granth Sahib


Beautiful lines by Guru Granth Sahib :
Apne gam ki Numaish na kar,
Apne nasib ki Azmaish na kar,
Jo tera hai tere Paas khud ayega,
Har roz usse pane Ki khwaish na kar,
Taqdir badal jayegi apne aap hi ae dost,
Muskrana sikh le,
wajah ki talaash na kar...

Is Dil Ko Agar Tera Ehsaas Nahi Hota

Is Dil Ko Agar Tera Ehsaas Nahi Hota,
Tu Door Bhi Reh Kar Ke Yun Paas Nahi Hota,
Is Dil Ne Teri Chahat Kuch Aise Basali Hai,
Ek Lamha Bhi Tujh Bin Kuch Khaas Nahi Hota....

If a Girl Cries There Will be Many Reasons

If a girl cries, there will be many reasons . . . .
.
. but. . .
.
If a boy cries, there will be only one reason . .
That is a "GIRL"

HaR Ek TeRi FeeLiNG Di ReSpeCt KarDa Haan

♥♥ HaR Ek TeRi FeeLiNG Di ReSpeCt KarDa Han.

TeRe To Vi Ehi MaiN ExPeCt KarDa Han..

HuRt Na KaRi KaDe MeRe PhULLan JeHe ArMaaNa Nu

SoHnIyE Ni MAIn eHo ReQuEsT KarDa Haan..♥♥

A People Say That

A People say that
No sorry and thanks to be used in friendship or in any relationship
but
Experience says these two words actually save the relations.

Ek Shadi Mein Achanak Kahin

Ek Shadi Mein Achanak Kahin se Ek JINN Aa Gaya..
Jinn ko Dekhte Hi:" Larkiyon ki Cheekheyn Nikal Gayi,
.
Wahan par Ek BABA Jee bhi the,
Unhon ne Larkiyon ko Kaha ke: "Sari
Larkiyan Muh Dho Len...
.
Jab Woh Sab Muh Dho Kar Aayi to:"
.
"Face dekh kar JINN ki Cheekheyn Nikal Gayi.

Tanhaiyon Mein Muskurana Ishq Hai

Tanhaiyon mein muskurana ishq hai,
Ek baat ko sab se chupana ishq hai,
Yun to neend nahi aati hamein raat bhar,
Magar sote sote jagna aur jagte jagte sona ishq hai.

Father To Girl

Girl:" Aaj mere dil ka operation hai..
.
Boy:" pata hai..
.
Girl:" I love u..
.
Boy:" main bhi bahut pyar karta hun
tumse..
.
operation ke baad jab ladki ko hosh aaya to sirf uska baap khada tha..
.
Girl:" wo kahan hai.. ??
.
Father:" tumhe nahi pata tumhe dil kisne diya.. ??
.
Girl:"what ??
Aur zor zor se rone lagi..
.
Father:" mazak kar raha hun Kamina bahar Samose Kha raha hai.

5th Class Boy To Bill Gates

Ek 5th class ka bacha Bill Gates ko letter likhta hai -
Sir, Mujhe Kuch Sawal Poochne Hain
...
1. Keyboard Ke Letters Sahi Jaga Nahi Hain, Keyboard Ka Sahi Version Kab Ayega?
2. Windows Mein START Ka Button Hai, STOP Ka Nahi
3. Hum Ms-Word Use Karte Hain,
Mr- Word Kab Release Hoga?
4. Keyboard Main ANY KEY Ka Button Nahi to Computer Q Maangta Hai?
Aakhir Main ek Zati Sawal
5. Aap Ka Naam GATES Hai To Aap WINDOWS Q Banate Hain..

Bhikhari To Boy

Airtel effect ...
Bhikhari: Uparwale Ke Naam Pe 10 Rupaye Dedo Baba..!!
Boy:
Chutte Nahi Hain....
Bhikhari:
Koi Baat Nahi Sunny Leone Ka Video Dikha Do Saab 1 Rupaye Wala.

A Woman is Driving 1st Time on The Highway

A woman is driving 1st time on the highway.
Her husband calls & says: "Be careful love,
It's just been on the radio, that some one is driving opposite to the traffic on the highway.."

She replies: "Someone..? These rascals are in hundreds.!!!

Teacher To Student

Teacher: what's the capital of South Africa?
Student : Cape Town
Teacher: Very good , now what's the capital of India?
Student : Rape Town..

Kya Time aa Gaya Hai

Kya time aa gaya hai..
Boys ke liye film bani to
" Ek Tha Tiger" =)
.
.
Girls ka number aaya to
"Ek thi daayan."

Pappu To Girl

Two Girls were sitting at a club.
One was ugly and the other one was beautiful.
Pappu: walked straight to the ugly girl.
Pappu : Hi!
Girl : Hi!!
Pappu : Wanna dance ?
Girl : Yes (excited)
Pappu : Ok, go and dance, I wanna talk to your friend.

Its Very Easy To Say Busy

Its Very Easy To Say "Busy".
When Someone Needs You...
But Its Very Painful To Hear"Busy"
When You Need Someone...!

3 Drunk Guys In Taxi

3 drunk guys enterd a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again.
He told them. "We have reached".
The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy gave the drivera slap.
The driver was shocked, thinkin­g the 3rd drunk knew what he did.
But he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME,
you nearly killed us!

3 Young Ladies Proposed a MAN




3 young Ladies proposed a MAN..
He had to choose one of them..
He tested by giving them
Rs. 5000 each 2 spend...

1st bought make up stuff & new dresses & said she wanted to look good for him..
2nd got him few expensive shirts & ties and perfumes & said she wanted him to look good..
3rd one invested the money, Got profit & returned him original amount,
saying that she saved the rest for their future..
Finally MAN decided to marry the Lady who was
.
The Prettiest
Moral: Men Will Be Men..

Paani vargi Seerat Meri

Mainu Kehndi...
Paani vargi Seerat Meri,
Dudh varga Sohna Rang
Mera,
Mishri to mithe Mere Bol...
Main keha,
Bas ik Patti di kammi rehgi Nahi ta Teri Chah ban jani si.

Never Forget Two People in Your Life

Never forget two people in your life....
The person who lost everything just to make you win.
[your father]

The person who was with you in every pain
[your mother]""

We go to School to Attend The Class

We go to school, to attend "CLASS" .
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.
At home, we have to "STUDY".
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, Tv, Unlimited-sms, Dota, Youtube.
in class, we're given "HOMEWORK."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K ­ = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.
while doing homework, we refer to "TEXTBOOK".
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK...

Wife To Husband

WIFE:" JANU, Aaj Tumhari Girlfriend Night Stay Karne Aaa Rahi hai!
Maine Fridge mein Beer & fresh Fruit Salad banake rakha hai,
Room freshner side table pare hai,
Nahanay Ka Soap with lime fragrance or towel Bhi rakha hai,
Main baccho ko Leker Mummy Ke yaha Jaa Rahi Hoon,
Kal Sham Tak Aajaungi,
Program Mein Koi Change Ho To inform Kar Dena,
mein Wahin aur Ruk JaunGi.

Isko kahate hai..

EK HUSBAND ke haseen sapne.

Newton's First Law of AASHIQI



Newton's First Law Of"AASHIQI"

Every Aashiq Continues To Do Aashiqi Until & Unless A 'Tamaacha' Or
'Sandal' With A Velocity Of 9.8m/s Is Impressed
Upon Him By A Beautiful Girl..
This Force Is Called 'Beizzati' Which Is Directly Proportional To 'Sharmindgi' But Aawarapan Remains Constant!!!

Boy Insult Girl

Boy: How many apples can you eat in empty stomach?
Girl: I can eat 6 apples.
Boy: you can eat only 1 apple in empty stomach
bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that's not in empty stomach.
Girl: wow super joke I'll tell my friend.
Girl to Other Girl: How many apple can you eat in empty stomach?
Other Girl: I can eat 10.
Girl: pagal 6 bolti toh mast joke sunati.

Sir Ravindra Jadeja

S achin Tendulkar
I mran Khan
R ahul Dravid
R icky Ponting
A dam Gilchrist
V ivian Richards
I an Botham
N athan Astle
D on Bradman
R ichard Hadlee
A lastair Cook
J aques Kallis
A B De Villiers
D aniel Vettori
E J Chatfield
J ack Hobbs
A llan Donald
A combination of all such players
can make the great.
"SIR RAVINDER JADEJA"

Singh Surmey GOBIND De Piyare

Singh Surmey GOBIND De Piyare ♥

Sikhi De Sitarey ♥

Khalse Di Dhan Zindagi ♥

Jina Sheesh Vi Dharam Uto Varey ♥

Happy VAiSAKhi

Story of Dog and Child

A dog was so faithful that the woman could
leave her baby with it and goout to attend
other matters. She always returned to find the child soundly asleep with the dog faithfully
watching over him. One day something tragic
happened.
The woman as usual, left the baby in the
"hands" of this faithful dog and went out
shopping. When she returned, she discovered rather a nasty scene, there was a total mess.
The baby's cot was dismantled, his nappies
and clothes torn to shreds with blood stains all over the bedroom where she left the child and the dog. Shocked, the woman wailed as
she began looking for the baby.
All of a sudden, she saw the faithful dog
emerging from under the bed. It was covered
with blood and licking it's mouth as if it had
just finished a delicious meal.
The woman got angry and assumed that the
dog had devoured her baby. Without much
thought she beat the dog with a wood to
death. But as she continued searching for
the"remains" of her child, she beheld another scene.
Close to the bed was the baby who, although
lying bare floor, was safe and under the bed
where the body of a snake was torn to pieces in what had been a fierce battle between the snake and the dog which was now dead.
Then reality dawned on the woman who now
began to understand what took place in her
absence. The dog fought to protect the baby from the ravenous snake.
It was too late for her now to make amends
because, in her impatience and anger, she had killed the faithful dog. How often have we misjudged people and torn them to shreds with harsh words and deeds before we have
had time to evaluate the situation?

Wife To Husband

Wife: Can You Help Me In Garden.. ??
Husband: What Do You Think, I'm Gardener.. ??
Wife: Can You Fix Door Handle.. ??
... ...
Husband: What Do You Think, I'm A Carpenter?
In The Evening When Husband Came From The Work He Saw
Everything Has Been Fixed..!!
He Asked: Who Fixed This?
Wife: Our Neighbour But He Gave Me 2 Options..!!
Either I Should Give Him Burger Or A Kiss..!!
Husband: I'm Sure You Must Have Given A Burger..
Wife: What Do You Think, I'm Mc'Donalds?

Zindagi ke 5 Sach

Zindagi k 5 sach
Sach no 1 :- maa k siwa koi wafadar nhi
sach no. 2 :- gareeb ka koi dost nahi
sach no. 3 :- log achi seerat ko nahi achi surat ko tarjeeh dete hain
sach no 4 :- izzat sirf paise kihai insaan ki nahi
sach no 5 :- insaan jis shakhs k liye dil se
mukhlis ho wohi shakhs dukh dard deta hai

Malkin to Naukrani

Nokrani se bartan toot gaya..
Malkin ne kaha:" Haramzaadi ye kya kiya tune ??
.
Bacha: Mumma ye" HARAMZADI kya hai ??
.
Maa: (Ye sochte hue k bacha gaali na seekh
jaye) isliye keh diya:" Sehatmand"
.
Agle din phir 1 or bartan toot gya,
.
Malkin ne phir se gali di:
.
"kameeni"phir bartan tod dia..
.
Bacha: Maa" kameeni kya hota hai ??
.
Maa:"kamzor"
.
1 din bache ki dadi beemaar ho gai,
Bacha maa k sath dadi ko dekhne gaya aur
kehne laga,
.
Maa dadi pehle kitni "haramzaad­i thi ab kitni "kameeni hoti ja rahi hain ..

Husband Driving Car

Husband driving car at very high speed:" DEKHI MERI SPEED ??
&
achanak car band ho gayi...
.
Biwi hasne lagi :D :D :D
.
Husband:" kya huaa ??
.
Biwi:" kuchh nahi, kal raat ki yaad aa gayi..

Man to Engineer



Never Mess with Engineers :
A man was seated next to a engg in an airplane.
D man turned to him n said, "Let's talk".
Engg : Ok, wat do we talk abt?
Man (making fun of d engg ): How about nuclear power?
Engg : Very interesting topic. But let me ask u a question...
Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps. Why?
Man: I don't know.
Engg : Do u really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don't know shit.
man shocks, Engg rocks.

In Exam a Question Came



In exam a question came..
A parrot sits on an elephant and the elephant died..
Prove it.

Student answer:"
assume that elephant name was parrot and the parrot name was elephant..

Engineer to Doctor



Engineer Doctor ke paas gaya aur bola, "ghar jaane ki kya fees hai..??"

Doctor: 300 rupees..

Engineer: Chale ­ --Dr Sahab.. ??

Dr ne bike nikali, engineer aur Dr Ghar pahuch gaye

Dr bola mareez kaha hai.. ??

Engineer:"Maree ­ --z koi nahi hai pagal,

taxi wala 500 maang raha tha aur tu 300 mein le aaya..

Kade Kade Main Sochda



Kade Kade Main Sochda,
Eh Zindagi Ki De Gayi Te Kee Lai Gayi,
Oh Ik Tufaan Wangu Aayi Te Hanju Ban Veh Gayi,
Kehndi C Intzaar Kari Mera,
Te Hass Ke Alvida Keh Gayi,
Supne Taan Aksar Supne Hi Hunde Ne,
Oh Supne Wangu Aayi Si Te Supna Ban Ke Reh Gayi..

Don't Read Success Stories

Don't read success stories,
you will only get a message,
Read Failure Stories,
you will get some ideas
to get success.

Himmatwala Sad Story



Sad Story:
Hum 4 friend Himmatwala dekhne gaye the aaj par wapis 3 hi aaye.

ek friend coma mein chala gaya movie dekhte dekhte...
Note: "No Offense to anyone"

Thodi si Ibaadat Bahut sa Sila Deti Hai



Thodi si ibaadat bahut sa sila deti hai,
Gulab ki tarha chehra khila deti hai,
Allah ki yaad ko dil se jane na dena,
Kabhi kabhi choti si dua arsh hila deti hai...

Mere Sidak Da Pallrha Bahut Halka



Mere Sidak Da Pallrha Bahut Halka,
Terian Bakhshishan De Naal Toliye Na,
De De Honsla Mereya Jajabeyan Nu,
Har Haal Raazi Rahiye Doliye Na.....!!

Nazar Andaaz Karte Ho

Nazar Andaaz Karte Ho
Lo Hatt Jatey Hain Nazron Se,,,
Inhi Nazron Se Dhundoge,
Nazar Jab Ham Na Aayenge..

Dil Ke Sagar Mein Lehre Uthaya Na Karo



Dil Ke Sagar Mein Lehre Uthaya Na Karo,
Khwaab Bankar Neend Churaya Na Karo,
Bahut Chot Lagti Hai Mere Dil Ko,
Tum Khwabon Mein Aa Kar Yu Tadpaya Na Karo.

May God Gift You All Colors of Life



May god gift you all colors of life,
Colors of joy,
Colors of happiness,
Colors of friendship,
Colors of luv,
& All other colors U want to paint in your life

Happy Holi.

Happy Holi



A true and caring relation doesn’t have to speak loud,
a soft sms is just enough to express the heartiest feelings.......
Enjoy the festival of Holi with lot of fun.
It's the day to express love with colors.
It is a time to show affection.
All the colors that are on you are of love!.
HAPPY HOLI....

Tasveer Wich Dikhdi Takdir Meri Lagdi Hai



Tasveer wich dikhdi takdir meri lagdi hai....
Mere sahan di suni baat menu sajdi hai....
Wekhi javan ihna naina wich....
Ihna naina ch dikhdi tasveer meri lagdi hai.....

Read Twice Because it is an Excellent Quote



Read twice Because it is an excellent quote-

"Life can give us lots of beautiful persons,
But only 1 person is enough for a beautiful life.

Kalli Kalli Sochan Wich Yaad Teri



Kalli kalli sochan wich yaad teri andi hai...
Eh yaad saanu kaleyan kar jandi hai...
Hichkiyaan ta tenu v lagiyan hongiyan...
Jadon sanu yaad teri aandi hai....

Bechare Ladke

Bechare Ladke..
.
Ladki par hath uthay to zalim,
.
Ladki se pit jaye to namard,
.
Ladki ko kisi ke sath dekh kar lade to jealous,
.
Chup rahe to begairat,
.
Ghar se bahar rahe to awara,
.
Ghar mein rahe to nakara,
.
Bachcho ko dante to buzdil,
.
Na dante to laparwah,
.
Biwi ko naukri se roke to shakki mizaz,
.
Na roke to biwi ki kamai khane wala..
.
Aakhir Bechara Ladka Kare To Kya kare.... ??
Plz forward to all boys & gals because
.
Mard Ko Bhi Dard Hota Hai..

A kanjoos Boy fell in LOVE with kanjoos Girl

A kanjoos Boy fell in LOVE wid kanjoos Girl.
Girl: Jab Dad so jyenge to main gali mein SIKKA fekungi,
avaz sunkar tum turant andr aa jana.
Lekin Boy sikka fekne k 1 ghante baad aya.
Girl: Itni der kyo laga di?
Boy: Wo main sikka DHUND rha tha.
Girl- pagal wo to "DHAAGA BAANDH "k feka tha,
wapas khich liya....

Interviewer To Engineering Student



Interviewer: You are driving alone in your 2 seat car at night. Its raining heavily & suddenly you see 3 people waiting for bus
1. An old sick lady who is about to die.
2. Old friend who once saved your life
3. The perfect Partner u have dreamed about

Which One Would you pick up..??
Engineering student replied :
" I would give the car keys to my old friend and ask him to take the lady to the hospital & stay behind to wait for a bus with my Dream Mate."

Ik Banda Raati Jyada Peeti Vich

Ik Banda Raati Jyada Peeti Vich Ghar bahar hi So gaya,
Fir Osnu Pata lagga ke oh mar gaya aa te Uppar Jaa k RABB ne ohnu fir Murgi Bna k Thalle Bhej ditta...

Fir Ohne Murgi Ban ke ik Anda Ditta Te oh Bahut KHUSH hoeya But Jado Oh Duja Anda Den Lgga Ta Ohde Ik CHAPED PAI..
Gharvali kendi: " VE KANJRA UTH JA VEHDE VICH HI HAGGI JANA"

3 Idiots Fb Version

3 Idiots ( Fb version )
Rancho - *Smiling*
Teacher- Aap Muskura kyu rahe hain?
Rancho - Bohot Dino se Adminbanne ki iccha
thi...aj Ban gaya hu..bohot maza aa raha hai
Teacher- Zada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat nai
hai...Tell me What is a Post?
Rancho- Anything that is posted on
Facebook..is Post Sir
Teacher- Can you Please elaborate?
Rancho- sir..jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte
hai ,post hai sir...Ghumne... ­gye..photo daal
diya! Post hai Sir.. Match dekha Score daal diya! Post hai Sir ..Sir actually hum post se ghire hue hai sir! Katrina ki Pic se Ronaldo ki Kick tak!
Sab post hai sir! Ek second me Comment ,ek
second me like!
Comment-like.. comment-like
.
.
Teacher- Shut up! ADMIN banke ye karoge?
Comment-like comment like....
Hey chatur tum batao
Chatur- Pictures,texts or Videos posted
through Mobile or Tablet or laptop or desktop
via Different Operating system using Internet on Facebook is called a Post...
Teacher- excellent!
Rancho- par sir maine bhi tohvohi bola
seedhe shabdo mein...
Teacher- Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh
orkut ya twiter ke pages k admin bano... :@
Rancho- Par sir dusre sites bhi toh..
Teacher-Get out!
Rancho- why sir?
teacher- Seedhe Shabdo me bahar jaiye
Rancho goes out and Comes Back*
Teacher- kya hua?
Rancho- kuch Bhul gya tha sir
Teacher- Kya?
Rancho- An Utility button given to us, to
protect our Private data i.e pictures messages
or personal Information for being stolen or Used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else...
Teacher- kehna kya chahte ho!?!?
Rancho- logout sir! Logout karna bhul gya tha!
Teacher- seedha seedha naibol sakte the?!
Rancho- thodi der pehle try kiya tha sir, aapko
pasand nahi aaya...

Mere Pichhe Pichhe Aave Oh

Mere pichhe piche aave oh___
menu minta naal manavae oh___
hath kanna nu v laave oh ____
main manna na tarle paave oh___
ohnu jhootha jiha tadfaun layi do ghadiya rusan nu jee karda___
sari umar manaudiya lang gayi e..
aj mera rusan nu jee karda___

Aapki Yaadon ke Sahare



Aapki yaadon ke sahare jee lete hain,
Aapse milne ki khwaish liye jee lete hain,
Jeene ko to jee sakte hain tere bagair hum,
Mile agar aap to mar bhi sakte hain…

Happy New Year Friends

Happy New Year Friends
Ajj Sangrand v Hai,
Ajj Hi Desi Year De First Month (CHET) Da First Day hai,
Ajj hi Shri Guru Har Rai Ji Da Gurgaddi Diwas v Hai.
Aap Sab Friends Nu New Year and Guru Har Rai Sahib Ji De Gurgaddi Diwas Diyan Lakh Lakh Wadaayian Hon Ji.

Yu Aaino se Kab Tak Dil Behlaoge

Yu aaino se kab tak dil behlaoge,
Jab andhera hoga khud ko tanha paoge,
Hum jaisa dost rahe agar aapke saath,
Kasam se umar bhar tanhai ko taras jaoge.

2 Men in a Wedding Function

2 men in a wedding function:
.
1st: " Lo..!! kuch din pehle hi godi mein kheli thi or aaj iski shaadi hai
.
2nd:" Aap dulhan ke baap ho..??
.
1st:" Nahi, dulhan ka BOSS...

Khuda ke Baad Tera Naam Liya Maine



khuda ke baad tera naam liya maine,
kya pata tujhe kitna yaad kiya maine,
kash sun sakte tum dhadkene meri,
har saans ko tere naam se jiya maine…

I m not a Good Lover



I m not a good lover...
i mess up...
i start fights...
i get jealous easily and i always get mad,
but there are three things i do feel proud about myself
1) i didn't play with feelings ♥
2) i give my all... yes 100% ♥ and
3) i love you deeply....i really do ♥

Happy Garmi

Kambal Aur Razai ko karo Maaf,
Cooler Aur A.C kar Lo saaf,
Paseena chutega Din aur Raat,
Ab Bina Nahaaye Nahi Banegi Baat,
Apne Nature Mein rakho NARMI,
Meri Taraf se Aapko
"HAPPY-GARMI"

Happy Womenz Day

In Affection She is a SISTER.
In Care She is a MOTHER.
In Kindness She is BELOVED.
In Understanding She is a WIFE.
.
She is WOMAN.
Happy WOMENZ DAY.

Elephant Love Story

Question: An elephant was in love with a she-elephant. But the she-elephant went and got married to some other elephant. So the elephant wasvery Depressed. One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him to a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song would our hero sing?
Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai.

Dil Dharakta Hai Tujhe Dekhun To





Dil dharakta hai tujhe dekhun to,
Saans bhi meri rukne lagti hai…
Pyar itna hai mere dilmey sanam,
Rooh bhi meri khinch ne lagti hai…!
Chain milta hai jab mei dekhun tujhe,
Warna ya saans rukne lagti hai…!!!

New Teacher To Students



New Teacher: OK, All Students tell your name & hobbies.
Boys: I'm Mike, my hobby is watching bubble in bath tub.
I'm Ajay, my hobby is watching Bubble in bath tub.
I'm Zohaib, my hobby is watching bubble in bath tub.
Teacher: Oh all boys have same hobbies.
Ok,Now girls.
Girl: Hi my name is Bubble.

Laughable statements of Mr. Atal Behari



One of the most laughable statements that Mr. Atal Behari Vajpayee has said during his lifetime.

Smt. Indira Gandhi ke do bete they.
Ek ko plane chalane ka showk tha. Usne ek baar plane chalaya aur plane ko gira diya.
Doosre ko desh chalane ka showk tha. Usne ek baar desh chalaya aur desh ko gira diya.

What Boys and Girls do in Exam Hall



7 Things Girls Do In an Exam Hall:
1. Write
2. Tuck Hair Behind Ears
3. Again Write
4. Change d Empty Refill
5. Again Write
6. Ask for Extra Sheet
7. Again Keep Writing

7 Things Boys do in an Exam Hall:
1. Count d No of Girls
2. Check Out the Young Lady Supervisor
3. Counting how many windows and doors..
4. Revising the Location of Chits in d Pockets
5. Seeing the Brand Name of the Pen
6. Regretting Wasting the Last Night Studying
7. Think 2 study well at least 4 next exam.
& After Exams…

Girls: you Know Paper Bahut Kharab Gaaya, it was so Lengthy I Could’nt Draw a Diagram… I am Going to Fail (Means 80+ Marks)

Boys: Fun Hai Yaar, Saala Ek Raat Padh Ke Paas… Chal Canteen ja ke samose Khate hain.

1000 Pages Ki Book



1000 Pages Ki Book Kitne Din Mein Parhi Ja Sakti Hai?

Writer: 6 Months

Doctor: 2 Months

Lawyer: 1 Month

Prof: 1 Week

Student: Pehle Ye Batao Paper Kab Hai?

Zindagi Ek Cricket Hai

Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai,
Saari Dharti Khel Ka Maidaan,
Aur Us Pe Karmbhoomi Hi Pitch Hai,
Aati Hai Sabki Baari But Just For Once Hai,
Hum Hi Is Khel Mein Khiladi Aur Hum hi Audiance Hai,
Naukri Milna To Chauka Lag Jaana Hai,
Par Chakka To Sidha Shaadi Ho Jaana Hai,
Jeevan Ke Utar Chadav Ball Ki Inswing Aur Outswing Hai,
Lekin Sukh Dukh Ka Aana To Leg Break Aur Spinning Hai,
Accident Ho Jaana Jaise Retired Hurt Ho Jaana Hai,
Per Kismat Ka Phootna To Lbw Ho Jaana Hai,
Catch Out Hona Jaise Hatya Hai,
Par Run Out Hona To Atmhatya Hai,
Hum To Bas Ek Chhote Se Shayar Hai,
Sab Kuch To Uske Haath Hai Jo Is Khel Ka Umpire Hai…